Because of You
by Ali-Chan1
Summary: There's something special about falling in love for the first time, growing up unexpected things happen, you fall in love again. The inevitable question hits, who am I meant to be with? First love or new love? Brooke's past. BrucasBrookeOC
1. Chapter 1: Senior Year

Chapter One

"Okay," Brooke stares at her friends who are all crammed into a booth at Karen's, "and here's the entire plan of attack," Brooke holds up a pink folder as a demonstration.

"Plan of attack?" Peyton asks, "Brooke..."

"Don't Brooke me P. Sawyer," Brooke cuts off, "we have to have a plan of attack."

"Brooke, it's just prom," Haley attempts to reason with her this time.

"Just prom? Correction Tutor-Wife, it's not _just_ prom. It's senior prom. The last big night of our high school careers, before you and your husband jet off to Stanford and Luke and I leave for New York and Miss Idaho over there..."

"O-hi-o, Brooke," Peyton carefully sounds the state name out for her, "Ohio, and it's a good school."

"Whatever," Brooke waves this off, "my point is that pretty soon we're all going to go off to the colleges we want to go to, but they're taking us all in different directions. This is our last chance."

"Brooke, we've still got graduation and the summer," Lucas attempts to soothe his girlfriends fears.

"It's prom!" Brooke insists throwing her hands in the air in frustration, "doesn't anyone else see that? We're all happy. Tutor-wife and Nathan are back to being happily married now that they've got the college thing worked out. Lucas and I are good. Peyton's good, right?"

"We're all happy Brooke, so why does prom have to be such a big deal?" Peyton asks.

"Guys," surprisingly it's Nathan who comes to Brooke's rescue, "it's prom. Doesn't everything in high school lead up to prom?" At the blank looks he receives from everyone, with the exception of Brooke, at the table he sighs, "guys. It's a dance, that everyone in high school gets excited about, and Brooke's right it's the last time that any of us will probably be completely free to just have fun. We start different lives in the fall..."

Haley rests her head on Nathan's shoulder and Brooke knows that she's got Haley on board for the fabulous prom she has planned as well, "so is everyone else in?" There are mumbles of agreement, but Brooke knows that Lucas and Peyton are less sure of her plan for the prom. Which included them heading the prom committee as well. But Brooke had this feeling, that everything would be over for her group of friends when they went their separate ways in the fall and even though she'd spent most of her high school career not holding on to too much she knew that her friends meant more to her then she even realized.

"Great," Brooke grins, "girl's we're heading to Charlotte next weekend to find some the perfect dresses and if we can't find dresses there we'll head to Raleigh...and boys here's a list of great tux shops." She pulls pages of computer paper out of her pink folder for Lucas and Nathan, "and here's a list of limo rental places we have to decide on, and of course we need to start making plans for the actual prom...I mean we have the place and the date reserved and the theme..."

"Brooke," Peyton cuts her off quickly, "we've been here, for about an hour listening to why we have to help you with prom, and why we should make a big deal about prom. Can we just give it a rest? Please?"

"Fine," Brooke sighs, "I'll g I've it a rest until tomorrow and then we've got to start planning. At 3:30."

"What's at 3:30?" Haley questions.

"We've got a prom committee meeting after school," Brooke can't help but smirk slightly at the groans that go around the table. Standing up she states, "listen, I'll buy lunch on me because you're just fantastic friends, even if you do complain a lot." This seems to cheer up the restless crowd and once she's taken orders Lucas stands as well with an offer to help.

"You okay Brooke?" Lucas asks once they've placed their order, waiting for Karen's newest hire to return with their drinks.

Brooke shrugs, "I don't know, it's just hard to think that everyone is going to be going away next year. And I'll have you but...I mean Peyton and I have been best friends since elementary school and..." Brooke can feel the tears well up in her eyes and she's glad that her back is facing her friends, she couldn't let them see her cry. "I dunno, I guess I just don't like change."

"Hey," Lucas wraps his arms around Brooke tightly, "it'll be okay, everyone will come back for holiday's and it's not like everyone's going to completely loose contact with each other."

"I know," Brooke nods pulling away, "but I just want one perfect night. Everyone's happy, for once. After all the drama of the last two years is it really to much to ask that we have one night that's just perfect?"

"Of course not," Lucas shakes his head, "but you can't just create a perfect night, it just has to happen that way."

"I'm trying to hard, aren't I?"

"Just a little," Lucas spreads his thumb and first finger apart to demonstrate.

"Just a little?"

"Okay a lot, you kind of went Nazi on Peyton when she asked if she could skip prom all together," Lucas informs.

"I'll try and lighten up, it's just that," Brooke takes a deep breath, "I've dreamed about prom since day one of high school."

"It'll be amazing, I promise," Luke states as the girl with the drinks returns. "Just relax."

"I'll relax," Brooke responds with a smile as she accepts two iced coffees, "but that doesn't get you guys out of the prom committee. As student body president I have to coordinate and I'm not going to coordinate some losers who have..." Brooke stops as her eyes land on a young man at the entrance of the café, she stumbles backwards as if the air has been knocked out of her both ice coffees slipping out of her grip. "Jason?" Her voice is soft and Lucas barely catches the name, but her actions have drawn the attention of the entire café.

Peyton glances Brooke who has paled considerably and has iced coffee dripping down her bare legs and quickly she follows her gaze to the doorway and at that she moves quickly toward Brooke. But Brooke doesn't notice the appearance of her best friend or her boyfriend's question, her eyes are still locked on the man, an apparition from a past she had long ago pushed into the depths of her soul. He hasn't changed much in the three years since she has last seen him, from his slightly shaggy jet black hair and olive skin to his worn jeans an simple green t-shirt.

"Peyton, who is he?" Lucas asks finally once he's realized that he won't be getting an answer from Brooke.

"Jason Theophilus," Peyton responds, "Brooke dated him freshman year."

Brooke ignores the exchange and crosses the distance between herself and Jason, he's taking her in as carefully as she had been him just moments ago, "what are you doing here?"

"I've moved back," Jason responds searching Brooke's face for any sign of anger or sadness, but all that is registered there, now is shock.

"What happened to college?" Brooke asks.

"Things changed," he lifts an arm and it's only now that Brooke realizes that he's holding a baby carrier.

"A baby?" Brooke's face turns a shade whiter.

"I didn't expect you to be here," Jason apologizes, "I wouldn't have sprung all of this on you if I had. I just got in town and needed some breakfast...I was going to let you know I was back in town. I'm sorry. We should talk."

"Not now," Brooke shakes her head, "I'm here with friends and...not now."

Jason looks over her shoulder and takes in Peyton and a blonde guy he doesn't know, "I understand. But there's some things I'd like to talk to you about...some things I need to apologize for."

"I'll call you," Brooke nods, "are you staying with your parents?"

Jason nods, "until I find another place, the number's the same."

"Okay."

A.N. So this is my new baby. But I promise to keep updating my other's. I hope you guys like this...it was uneventful but it'll get more interesting I promise! I'll be alternating between writing in the time that this chapter takes place and flashing back to when Jason and Brooke started dating and telling their story in flashbacks! Please review!


	2. Chapter 2: Freshman Year

Chapter Two

A.N. OMG you guys thank you so much for your reviews. They mean a ton to me, and I was a little iffy on how this would be received so I'm glad you guys are as interested in this as I am! _Jessd4491:_ I'm afraid you'll have to wait a chapter to find out any information about present day stuff, the baby included! _Laura369:_ The way Brooke was feeling in the last episode factors greatly into this story, it explains how she got to the fears she expressed in this weeks episode, I'm glad you picked up on that! _BrucasFanatic: _I'm glad you're imaginging him hot...because that's very much the way I want him to appear! He's a Greek God, literally...well about the Greek part...he's not a God though...Thanks to the rest of you for reviewing..._Kaos2405_, I can't tell you how much your review meant to me...guys if you're looking for a fabulous Brucas story check out a Woman's Worth it's amazing! Oh and as for my years...I set them as Freshman back in '02, the time-in is kind of confusing on the show with the first two seasons being one year...but just go with it okay? Prepare to meet shy, 14-year-old Brooke Davis...

Late August, 2002

"Cheerleading, Pey?" Brooke stares up at the sign up sheet posted on the door of their gym, they were on Tree Hill High's campus for Freshman orientation, which included signing up for extracurriculars. "I never really thought of us as cheerleaders." Brooke takes in her best friend, in her faded jeans and obscure band t-shirt she didn't exactly look like your typical cheerleader.

"My mom was a cheerleader," Peyton responds as she writes her name up on the already half-filled sign-up sheet.

Brooke nods, that was explanation enough, "well I've got to do something, and I look great in blue."

"Well if the uniform fits," Peyton hands over the pen allowing Brooke access to the paper.

"So auditions start the first day of school," Brooke briefly scans the information on the permission slip, "I can't believe we start high school in a week." Brooke nearly jumps in excitement as she and Peyton walk away from home, heading back toward Peyton's house where they spent most of their summer days.

"_I_ can't believe you're excited about starting high school...it's still school Brooke, no different from middle school...just bigger."

"Duh, hot older guys, cheerleading, dances...Prom!"

"Prom is four years away," Peyton reminds, "who know's what will happen in the next four years."

"God Pey, don't be so negative all the time," Brooke rolls her eyes, she and Peyton had always been different but that had always worked for them. They told each other everything and remained constants in each other's desperately lonely, parentless, lives.

"He's gorgeous," Peyton's the first to spot the group of guys across the parking lot and Brooke can tell immediately who she must be talking about. He sticks out in the group at, at least half a head taller then all of the other guys and leaning against his car he looks like a model. Over the heads of his friends he catches both Brooke and Peyton watching him and he follows their actions for long enough to catch their attention.

Brooke blushes and grabs Peyton's hand, Peyton though offers a slight wave before allowing Brooke to drag her away. "I can't believe you waved at him!" Brooke exclaims.

"Listen to you, always talking like you're hot stuff but when it comes to actually interacting with a guy you chicken out."

"That's completely untrue!" Brooke gasps, "I date Peyton, geez, you act like I'm the Virgin Mary or something."

"Then what the hell was that?" Peyton demands.

"He's obviously and upperclassman, you can't just flirt with an upperclassman Peyton."

"Oh Brookie," Peyton laughs, "you sound like a nerd."

"Well, then, maybe I should go out for the debate team instead of the cheerleading squad."

"I don't think so, you're not getting out of it that easily," Peyton retorts, "besides we both know that you are going to love being a cheerleader."

"Well duh, I've taken dance since I was seven, you have nothing to go on except me making you watch Bring It On a million times."

"Well then I guess you'll just have to spend the next week helping me out to the best of your ability, or you're going to be stuck on the cheerleading squad alone."

"And since this is your project and not mine, well that would suck," Brooke states.

* * *

It isn't until Brooke is alone in her bedroom that night, alone in her house for that matter, that she actually allows herself to think about Peyton's words from earlier. Her best friend's words were true, they both knew they were. Honestly she didn't really date anyone. She'd been out on a couple of dates, mostly her parents attempts at being a part of her life and setting her up with the son of one of their friends. It was always a disaster, they never had anything to talk about while their parents watched on from another table wondering if there was a possible merger of powerful Tree Hill families in the works. 

But when it came down to it she never approached guys at school, the guys she did know she knew through Peyton. Peyton was the outgoing one despite her moodiness. All of Brooke's friends had been introduced to her either by Peyton or her parents, when they were around. When had she ever gotten up the nerve, pushed aside her shy nature and introduced herself to someone? Rolling over in her bed Brooke buries her face in her pillow and counts to ten breathing in the soft smell of freshly washed sheets. Brooke froze in social situations, and she hated that but that's just the way that it was, she was shy and withdrawn around people she didn't know and ultimately that was probably why she and Peyton were best friends. Peyton stuck up for her and was able to keep conversations focused away from Brooke so that her friend could just remain in her own little world. Cheerleading would be fun, Brooke knew, she had no fear of getting up in front of people and preforming so long as she wasn't expected to converse with anyone.

With a frustrated sigh Brooke rolls over and sits up in bed, this was ridiculous she couldn't expect Peyton to take care of her anymore. She was going into high school and unlike middle school where they had had all of their classes together Brooke already knew that she and Peyton only actually had lunch together all day. Moving out of her bed she settles at her desk and pulling the drawer open, shifting around piles of pictures and notebooks she pulls out her diary. She kept at least a diary a year since she was seven and all of the completed ones were settled on her bookshelf, but she'd always kept the current ones hidden. The problems that has seemed so important when she wrote them down not longer did once the diary was finished so it didn't matter to her who read them. But the current ones always held pains that were to fresh to just be kept lying around.

Picking up her pen she writes about freshman orientation, and the cute boy from the parking lot. But mostly she wrote about her fear that she was to shy to make it through high school, that she didn't know what she was going to do if she didn't have Peyton to watch out for her

_I'm afraid that I'll spend the next four years the weird girl in the corner of the classroom who never talks to anyone because she's too shy. I don't want to be that girl but I don't know how to be any other way. Peyton wants to go out for cheerleading, which I don't really mind doing...at least I'll get to spend sometime with Pey...but beyond that what's high school going to be like? I want to have the dream high school experience, a cool boyfriend, dates and dances and parties...but what if I don't get to know anyone? What if I come out of high school with no friends except for Peyton...what if Peyton makes friends with someone else and suddenly I don't even have her? I just don't want to spend the next four years alone...but the thing is, I don't know how to be anything else except for alone. If I can't even wave to someone across the parking lot how am I supposed to introduce myself to someone in class?_

With a sigh Brooke sets her pen down, there had always been something soothing about getting her emotions down on paper and now that she's done it she's pretty convinced that she'll be able to sleep. It wasn't that her concerns had been fixed by magically putting them on paper, but she could put them out of her mind for now and attempt to sleep. It wouldn't be for another week that she'd realize that her fears would come to pass and it wouldn't be for another week after that before she'd see the boy from the parking lot again. And it wouldn't be for months until she realized that that boy would be the one to change her life...her entire world...in ways she'd never be able to imagine.

A.N. Shortish, I know. And I know ya'll we're looking forward to Jason being in this chapter more but really I needed you guys to understand where Brooke is coming from when she first meets Jason. But the drama will start to unfold in the next chapter when Jason and Brooke sit down and have a face to face conversation for the first time in almost three years...


	3. Chapter 3: Senior Year

Chapter Three

* * *

"I'll meet you," Brooke sighs into the phone, she's settled on the couch in her apartment that she no longer shares with anyone.

"I'll come to your place," Jason states, he'd just spent the last half an hour trying to convince Brooke to meet him and his tone comes off eager.

"No," Brooke states quickly.

"Then come to my place," Jason responds.

Brooke shakes her head for her comfort alone before she states, "I can't face your family Jason."

"You act like they're a firing squad Davis," Jason's words are joking but his tone just sounds tired.

"Jason..." The name sounds so unfamiliar on Brooke's lips and yet it rolls off perfectly naturally, as if she hadn't gone years without saying it, "they hate me."

"They do not," Jason objects, "but it doesn't matter, they're not here. They're having dinner with friends, Brooke I want to talk to you. I want to...apologize, please just come over."

"Fine, give me twenty minutes," Brooke flips the phone shut before she can hear Jason's response there's nothing that he'll say in response that she needs to hear. Slowly she makes her way to her bedroom, she'd come home from the café and immediately slipped into the shower, promising Lucas that she would call him later and explain. But how could she explain the fact that she had never once mentioned her first boyfriend? There was no possible way to tell him about Jason without telling him why she hadn't told him about Jason in the first place. So until she could find something to tell him she'd keep her mouth shut.

The bedroom was lonely now that Haley had moved out and in with Nathan in an apartment just down the hall, but the lonely feeling was something she was used to. Carefully Brooke rifles through her clothing, she'd changed since he'd left her and she knew that only a little bit of that showed in the clothing she wore now. She stares harshly at her clothing, why the hell was it so hard to find something to wear? And why the hell did she think that she had to impress him?

* * *

"Hey," Luke greets from Peyton's doorway.

Peyton turns around in her desk chair, she hadn't even heard him come in while she'd taken a walk down memory lane, flipping through a photo album from freshman year. She'd loved photography back then, before she'd discovered her calling as an artist she'd carried a camera everywhere with her. And because of that she had more pictures from freshman year then she did for the other three put together. "Hey, I figured you'd come over."

"I have no idea what you mean," Lucas responds before dropping onto her bed with a sigh.

"You want to know about Jason," Peyton responds closing the album and staring at him, taking in his expression that tells her that she's right.

"Brooke wouldn't talk about it after I dropped her off and she's never mentioned him before, you've never mentioned him before. So I'm thinking maybe there's something I should be worried about. Not to mention the fact that I've never seen her look the way she did today at the café, like she'd seen a ghost or something." Lucas pauses, "so?"

"You should probably talk to Brooke about it Luke, it's her story to tell," Peyton sighs.

"So there's a story to tell?" Lucas asks, and Peyton can't help but feel bad because she was more then well aware of how strongly he felt for Brooke.

"Not really," Peyton sighs with a shake of her head, she'd deal with the wrath of Brooke later if she had to. "I mean he was her boyfriend, they dated for a couple months our freshman year. When I went away to summer camp they were perfectly happy and when I came back there'd been a fight or something and he was gone. And the Brooke you saw today is basically what I dealt with for the rest of the summer," Peyton could vividly remember how broken her best friend had been when she'd gotten abck from summer camp. Brooke had refused to talk about the break-up and had mostly kept to herself, "but then when school started again she was the Brooke you know. I don't know what happened and I never pushed it because it only upset her to talk about it."

"So they were serious?"

"The only other guy she's been with seriously with the exception of you," Peyton wrinkles her nose, "and Felix I guess."

* * *

Brooke could navigate the way easily to Jason's parents house, it had been years but she'd never forgotten the blue house just outside of Tree Hill and if she let herself think about it she could still remember what it felt like to be in that house. Jason had had the family that Brooke, when she was all alone in her room, dreamed about. It was an insane household, he was smack dab in the middle of 9 kids. Of course even when Brooke had dated him there had only been five of them living in the house full time, but it had a non-stop energy that Brooke had always loved. And parents that were always around.

Biting her lip Brooke gets out of the car, running a quick hand through her hair she mental chides herself for being this nervous. She shouldn't be, she should go in there. Tell him what an ass he had been and walk away, let him know what that felt like for once. But she's still nervous even at this thought, what had happened to the in-charge girl she usually was? The evening April air is cooler then she had expected it to be and she crosses her arms to protect her bare arms as she walks up the path. But she only makes it halfway up before she marches back to her car, but with her hand resting at doorhandle of her car she verbally chides herself this time, "get it together Brooke." And finally this time with resolution she walks back up the path toward the door, and even though the instant she sets foot on the steps she wants to turn and go back to the car, she makes herself take the final step to the door.

After knocking on the door she's shocked at how quickly it takes him to answer, and with embarrassment she realizes that he was probably looking for her out of the large picture window and had seen her mental battle. "Hey," Jason greets, and she can't help but feel appreciative that he doesn't make a smartass comment, but at the same time she's still unable to meet his gaze. Once he's moved out of the way and she's slipped into the house she's shocked that it still smells the exact same, a mix of breads, olive oil, cinnamon, coriander and thyme. Brooke closes her eyes and can't help but breathe in the smells that she still sometimes associated with the feeling of home.

"Brooke," she finally meets Jason's gaze and she can see concern written there, "are you okay?"

"It's just weird being here again, it smells exactly the same," Brooke admits, and a glance around shows that the cluttered chaos of the house is the same as well.

Jason nods, "I know, but you know Mom she spends 95 of her time in the kitchen. She still cooks for an army and it's only Natasha, Phoebe and Zoe living at home anymore."

"How are they?" Brooke asks, they were awkwardly making small talk, avoiding the reason they both knew Brooke had come over.

"They're great, Natasha will graduate with you guys in June," Jason informs.

"Yeah," Brooke nods, "I see her around sometime...but we don't...you know...talk or anything."

"I understand," Jason nods, "can I get you something to eat, or drink?"

Brooke shakes her head, "I'm fine."

"Mom knew you were coming over today," Jason admits, "she made Pontica..."

Brooke nods and forces herself not to think about how much that means to her for Jason's mother to remember that she'd love that cake, "well I can't turn that down can I?"

"Of course not," Jason shakes his head and leads her to the kitchen and within minutes they are both sitting across from each other, plate of the Greek orange cake sitting in front of them.

It doesn't take long before they fall into an awkward silence and it takes about a minute longer before Brooke pushes back her plate of untouched cake, "this was a mistake coming here Jason."

"Brooke, it wasn't," Jason pushes his plate away as well, "I'm sorry. I really am and I wish I could apologize enough to take away all of the pain I must have caused you..."

"Well you can't!" Brooke exclaims pushing herself to a standing position quickly, her chair clattering to the floor behind her unnoticed. "You just left! I was 15 and devastated and alone and you just left!"

"Brooke..." Jason stands up calmly, his voice even, "I know you're angry with me."

"Of course I'm angry," Brooke snaps, "I have every right to be as angry as I fucking want to be."

"I was in pain too, you know," Jason reminds, "I was just trying to cope with everything that had happened."

"So instead of trying to work through it you thought leaving would be the best option?" Brooke questions, her voice has taken on a cold tone that Jason had never heard in her voice before.

"We were just kids Brooke, we were in way over our heads..."

"You think I don't know that? That I was to young to be experiencing the pain that I was going through?" Brooke asks, "that at 15 I had everything I had learned to count on ripped away? And I had to cope with it all alone because you decided leaving was a better option...that your stupid prep school was a much better use of your time? And checking to make sure I was okay didn't fit into your schedule?"

"Brooke..."

"There were days that I wanted to die," Brooke's words are low and threatening.

Any further conversation is cut off by the sound that emits from the baby monitor that Brooke had never even realized was set up in the dining room. It's the soft cry of a baby and it's like a knife in Brooke's stomach. "I've got to go get her." Jason sighs, giving one final look to Brooke, "I'll be back though."

"Don't bother," Brooke responds, "you've moved on...found someone who could help you relive your dream..."

"Brooke..." It was the third time that night that he'd said her name without anything to follow it up, they used to be able to talk about everything in the world and suddenly he didn't have the slightest clue as to what to say to this stranger.

"Don't, Jason..." Brooke shakes her head, "things have changed. I've changed. You've changed, you have a...a..." She swallows hard but finally forces herself to say, "baby. Our lives are different. Welcome back to Tree Hill." With her words Brooke turns and walks away from Jason, originally she thought she'd feel powerful doing this...walking away from him with words that she hoped hurt. But they only hurt her more then she'd have imagined. She'd spent years trying to suppress any thoughts about Jason, but the pain that she'd refused to acknowledge since the first day of Sophomore year was still there. The tears seem to fill her entire body, clogging her throat until she can barely breathe, but it isn't until she's pulled into the parking lot of her apartment building and forced herself up the stairs and into the safety of her apartment that she lets herself cry.

When she crawls into bed half an hour later it feels like the tears are never going to stop, but eventually she falls into a sleep filled with nightmares and memories long past.


	4. Chapter 4: Freshman Year

Chapter Four

A.N. I thought you all should know how hard it is to write Brooke this way, she's so take charge and say anything that it feels so strange writing her this way...and I'm sure it's strange to read her this way. But this is the way she's going to stay for awhile...Also this chapter is dedicated to Mags0607, because she made me a lovely lovely banner that inspired me to finish up this chapter...plus she's got the greatest story you guys should read it's called Whenever You Remember it's got great Brucas and Naley vibes! I wish I could show ya'll the banner that she made for me but the link I don't think works here...so if you're interested in seeing it leave a signed review and I'll email you the link! Enjoy the chapter! It's longer then I intended on it being but I had to get Jason in there...

* * *

High school sucked. It was officially official. The upperclassman sucked. The teachers sucked. The crowded hallways where she was constantly bumped around sucked. And of it had turned her into a negative thinker, which Brooke Davis had never been in her entire life. But the thing she hated most about high school? Her stupid locker and her stupid inability to remember the stupid combination. School had only been in for a week and everything she'd been so excited about for high school had disappeared and given in to the fears she'd written down in her diary the night after orientation.

The quiet girl in the back of the class that didn't open her mouth for the entire period? Yup, Brooke. She and Peyton had no classes together, and with the exception of cheerleading Brooke honestly hadn't seen her best friend much in the last week. They'd hung out over the weekend, but it only solidified how comfortable Peyton was feeling in high school. She'd comforted Brooke when Brooke had confessed how lost she felt, but all in all there wasn't much that she could say that would make her feel better.

On the bright side she had made the cheerleading squad, but that only made things more complicated. Morgan Finnely, the head cheerleader, scared her and despite the fact that Brooke was an amazing dancer Morgan's critical gaze was constantly causing her to mess up. And that was the reason she'd stayed an hour after the rest of the team, she was determined to get all the steps right so that she didn't end up kicked off the team. So here she was in the deserted hallways searching through her dumb messenger bag for a slip of paper they she had written her locker combination on.

Angrily Brooke kicks the lover just beneath hers but she slides to the ground in a frustrated heap. What was the point of getting her books anyway? So that she could go home to her empty house and do homework and eat whatever the housekeeper who came by once a week had left in the freezer for her? At the thought alone Brooke's lip begins to tremble, it didn't matter that she'd spent most of the time since she turned 12 home alone, it didn't make it hurt any less. Wrapping her arms around her knees Brooke buries her face in her knees, she was glad there was no one else in the halls to check and make sure she was okay. She hated that question, there was something about that question that always managed to make her feel worse then when she'd originally started crying.

How was she supposed to get through four years of high school if she was having a hard time with the first two weeks? "Stupid school," Brooke uses both hands to grab the messenger bag that she'd just been rooting through and with all the force she can muster throws it across the hall, it hits the lockers on the other side with a clatter before most of the contents empty out.

"Are you okay?" The girls voice causes Brooke to jump and immediatly scramble to her feet.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Brooke responds quickly wiping at her tears and feeling like a complete idiot.

"It sucks being a freshman," the girls states as she stoops down to help Brooke gather her bags.

"You don't have to help me," Brooke urges pushing her long hair behind her ear. But at the girls comment she asks, "is it that obvious?"

"'Fraid so," the girl offers Brooke a gentle smile as she hands Brooke back her stack of notebooks. "But hey, that was me last year so I can totally relate...I hated my freshman year."

"Really?"

"Yup," the girls nods, "I'm Lydia."

Brooke smiles, the girl seems super sweet and the smile on her face genuine, "Brooke."

"So what was with all the bag throwing?" Lydia asks as they both straighten up, Brooke furiously shoving things back in her bag.

"Locker problems," Brooke sighs, "I'm miserable at memorizing the numbers."

"Ah," Lydia nods.

"Ah?"

"Here's your numbers," Lydia points to the final notebook is attempting to shove into her backpack.

Brooke stares at the clear covered notebook where she'd slipped the number into so as not to have to dig through her back, the embarrassment brings on a fresh wave of tears, "stupid."

"Take your lock off and then follow me," Lydia states.

"But..."

"There's no one else here but the custodian," Lydia states, "just come on."

Brooke quickly removes her lock and then follows as Lydia leads her further down the hall, "where are we going?"

"My locker," Lydia responds and within seconds they've stopped, reaching into her pocket Lydia pulls out a key and Brooke realizes that she's switched the dial combination lock with her own. "Here," she holds the lock and keys out to Brooke, "take them."

"I can't do that," Brooke shakes her head, "but it's a great idea, I go can go out and buy my own."

"Why bother?" Lydia questions, "seriously it's not a big deal, I've got eight brother's and sisters at home, most of them are old and I'm sure we have a huge collection of locks that I can pick from."

"You sure?" Brooke asks.

"Of course," Lydia rolls her dark eyes before quickly grabbing the lock out of Brooke's hand and dropping her lock into Brooke's open palm.

"Thank you," Brooke responds as she begins in the direction of her locker. "So eight brother's and sister?" Brooke asks as Lydia falls into step with her.

"Yeah, it's great, crazy and annoying sometimes but fun..."

"Wow," Brooke sighs, she'd always wished she'd had brother's and sisters, at least one other person to share her lonely life with. "I'm an only child."

"Really?" Lydia's nose crinkles at this, "I'm sorry, that must suck."

"Yeah," Brooke nods as she exchanges various books and notebooks from her locker to her bag, "it does."

"Well then, you're coming to dinner," Lydia states enthusiastically, grabbing onto Brooke's arm she stares at her expectantly.

"I can't," Brooke shakes her head, surprised that this girl whom she's known for less then thirty minutes would invited her to dinner.

"Why not?" Lydia asks, "oh, do you have plans with your parents?"

Brooke can't help the laugh that escapes, "they're in Paris for the month."

"Well then you're coming to dinner _and_ spending the night," Lydia declares.

"Won't your parents mind?" Brooke asks, shocked at this addition, she'd never met someone so openly hospitable before.

"Are you kidding?" Lydia asks, "my mom loves to have people over, besides it's Friday night and most Friday nights there's at least two extra people hanging around."

"Okay," Brooke nods slowly, "I guess tha'd be okay."

"Great!" Lydia grins, "we just have to find my brother and he'll take us to your house so you can pick up some things and we'll be on our way. My brother, Jason, is just finishing up with swim practice and I figured I'd stay after and use the computer in the library instead of trying to find time to use it ours at home. Why are you still here anyway?"

"Cheer practice," Brooke responds, slipping the last book into her bag and letting Lydia lead them to the gym.

"You're a cheerleader?" Lydia looks surprised at this.

"Yeah," Brooke nods.

"You don't act it."

"Not a fan of the cheerleaders?" Brooke asks, immediately picking up on the tone in Lydia's voice.

"Morgan dated my brother Alec last year and she was a bitch," Lydia rolls her eyes, "luckily he dumped her skanky ass..."

Brooke stares at the girl, she'd seemed nothing but nice and the words coming out of her mouth shock Brooke, but she doesn't have time to react any further because she's cut off by someone jogging up to them. "There you are, I thought you were coming to the gym?"

"Sorry, I was helping Brooke out," Lydia replies. "Brooke this is my brother Jason, Jason this is my new friend Brooke, she's coming to dinner and is going to stay the night."

Brooke's gaze immediately travels to the tall boy's face and her face flushes pink when she realizes that it's the boy from the parking lot two weeks before. "It's great to meet you Brooke," Jason extends his hand, but it's obvious by the look on his face that he recognizes her as well.

Brooke accepts his hand and shake it gently, embarrassed for being embarrassed mostly, Peyton would have bailed her out by now but she was just going to have to make conversation on her own. Luckily though Lydia chats to Jason for awhile, explaining how they'd met and letting him know that he'd need to take Brooke to her house quickly before they went home. "That's fine," Jason agrees, "Brooke can sit in the front to give me directions."

"Okay," Brooke nods, her tone soft, "I can do that."


	5. Chapter 5: Senior Year

Chapter Five

A.N. I meant to post in the last chapter that I refuse to promise a Brucas or Brason (he he Brason sounds fun) ending...I have one in mind but with the way my mind works it could change. I'm a die-hard Brucas fan, but I'm also in love with Jason so...who knows?

* * *

The headache Brooke wakes up with Monday morning makes her first stop to wonder how much she'd had to drink before, but with a start she realizes that she wasn't hung-over. The headache was a result of to much crying the night before and it takes her nearly ten minutes actually roll over and glance at the clock. "Shit!" Once she's read the numbers Brooke leaps out of bed, headache or no the reading of 2:45 was enough to get her moving. She'd already missed school and despite the pervious days events she was still capable of remembering the prom committee meeting she's coerced all of her friends into going to.

Dashing into the bathroom Brooke gives a disappointed glance at her reflection, there was no humanly possible way she could leave the house without showering. Her hair was matted to her face in some places from tears, and the little bit of make-up she'd put on before going over to Jason had been completely smeared. Brooke quickly turns the water on, stripping out of the clothes she'd worn the previous night and had amazingly managed to sleep in. She slips into the shower before the water has actually had a chance to warm up, but she hardly notices it as she quickly goes about her normal showering routine.

When Brooke slips out of the shower she can hear her cell phone ringing in the distance, and she's sure it's either Lucas or Peyton wondering where the hell she is, so she doesn't bother to answer it. Quickly she pulls on a pair of capri's and a tank top and dashes out of the house, grabbing only her keys, purse and cell phone and amazingly makes it to school with ten minutes to spare before the prom committee meeting. Ten minutes, that she realizes she should have killed, because by the looks on the faces of her friends waiting there for her she's going to spend the next ten minutes explaining a few things.

"Brooke, where the hell were you all day?" Peyton demands the instant she approaches her four closest friends.

"I overslept," Brooke responds forcing and easy tone in her voice, "I guess I didn't set my alarm or something..."

"Brooke, can we talk?" Lucas requests.

Brooke nods, "sure." She knows that her perfected mask of looking fine no matter how nervous she is looks perfect, but inside she feels sick. She had no idea what to say to Lucas, but she knows by the look on his face that he wants answers. Brooke can't help but notice as they walk away her friends shrink back too, they are obviously well aware of the conversation that must ensue and Brooke has the feeling that her absence from school today gave the group a chance to talk about actions the day before.

"So, I stopped by your house last night...you weren't there..." Lucas looks nervous and Brooke knows that he's probably uncomfortable with this entire situation.

"I went..." Brooke takes a deep breath, there was no use in lying, "I had to go over to Jason's..."

"The guy from the café?"

Brooke nods, "yes. I had to talk to him about some things."

"Oh," Lucas shifts uncomfortably.

"It's not what you think Lucas, I mean there's nothing going on with us. He wanted me to come over, I went over...it was a disaster and I have no intention of ever seeing him."

"I trust you Brooke," Lucas states, "I'm not accusing you over seeing him behind my back...I'm just worried about you, the look on your face at the café yesterday..."

"I was surprised to see him," Brooke brushes it off.

"Surprised to see him?" Lucas asks, "you looked like you'd seen a ghost."

"Luke..."

"I know, I'm sorry if I'm pushing this to hard it just seems weird to me that you've never even mentioned him before. Ever. In fact now that we are talking about it I don't think I've ever even heard you talk about your freshman year before."

Brooke sighs, "we'll talk about it sometime, okay? But now isn't the time to talk about it. I just...I have to get this meeting started, we'll talk about it though."

"Okay," Lucas sighs and with that Brooke moves to stand in front of the crowd that was gathered in the bleachers of the basketball court.

"I'd like to thank everyone for turning out today," Brooke greets with a smile, her eyes scanning the crowd. Most of the people she recognizes, her friends, the squad and there are some faces she doesn't recognize and in the middle of this crowd she spots a girl who looks so much like her older sister it's scary. But of course Natasha would be there, it was like the cosmos were having fun laughing at her, and watching her squirm in as many uncomfortable situations as possible. Brooke quickly recovers herself and begins searching her mind for everything that needed to be done, and the groups that needed to be broken up to accomplish everything, it had all been written on a tablet of paper at home but in the rush to get out the door she'd forgotten it.

Quickly she assigns leaders for the various tasks, leaving Haley and Peyton to head the music department, Nathan and Lucas to be in charge of hiring the people that needed to be hired, and Brooke had placed herself in charge of the decorations. Quickly she handed out sign-up sheets to her friends and set them up in different areas of the basketball court to deal with whoever approached them. It doesn't surprise her when most of the people line up to be in the decoration part but she easily pushes members of her squad off to other areas that she thinks they can manage as well.

And it doesn't surprise her when Natasha makes up the last person in line to sign-up, "Natasha Theophilus." For a second Brooke loses herself and it's really Lydia standing in front of her, Lydia had been Brooke's best friend (she wasn't Peyton and their friendship had been different but she was a best friend too) freshman year and then a car accident had changed everything.

Brooke writes the name down without even looking up, "thank you, you can sit with the rest of the group."

An hour later Brooke can tell everyone is getting restless and since she knows that at least her group has made good progress on the decorations she calls the groups back together. Once everyone is gathered back on the bleachers she gives off a bright smile, "I think we did really well today you guys. Mostly I'm going to leave the various leader sin charge of the different groups and they'll come to me with whatever problems you guys encounter. I think if we all put a lot of hard work into this we'll get it all done in plenty of time for prom. So you guys can all go home, I want to have another meeting next month to go over final details but until then you'll be in contact with whoever is head of your department."

Once the crowd has thinned Brooke plops down on the bleacher next to Peyton, "I'm starving. Why don't you guys all come back to the apartment and we'll order a pizza?"

Everyone but Lucas seems to agree that this is a good idea, "why don't you guys head back to my apartment, I've got to talk to Broody here." Once the group has willingly left Brooke turns back to him, "what now?"

"I just...Brooke this is driving me crazy," Lucas sighs, "you're not yourself. You may be able to fool everyone else, please just talk to me. I want to be able to help you, but I can't do that if you don't want to talk about it."

Brooke thoughts race, she couldn't tell Lucas everything about her and Jason's relationship. It just wasn't possible, she didn't think about it so how could she talk about it? "Fine, Broody, I'll tell you. I loved him, more then I'd loved anyone else before then. He was my first love, my first kiss and my first time...I gave him everything I had to give him and then..." It was the and then that caught Brooke up, "he just left. He said good-bye and then he walked away, with every piece of my soul. The Brooke you see now? Is nothing like who I was back then, I was a completely different girl when I met Jason, and I was a different girl when I was with him and then when he left I changed again."

"So..." Lucas trailing, obviously wanting something more.

"So it was a long time ago," Brooke responds, "no one ever forgets their first love, Lucas. Don't you remember yours?"

"I've only ever really loved one girl, Brooke," Lucas admits as his eyes lock onto her face. Brooke shifts under his scrutiny, "and I'm kind of hurt that you never thought to mention him before."

"You never asked," Brooke snaps, she can't believe that he's pushing this so far but at this point she knows a fight is inevitable.

"Well, I assumed that because you never..."

"You're mad at _me_," Brooke snaps, "because _you_ assumed something instead of asking me? I never told you because I didn't know how you'd react, obviously I was right to not tell you because you're acting like a jealous baby. You asked me about him remember?" Brooke demands, "next time you're not sure you want the answer don't ask the damn question."

With her words Brooke storms out of the gym, her heart is pounding out of anger but deep down she knows that she may have over-reacted a little bit. But she always got worked up when the topic turned to Jason, she and Peyton had spent a good portion of that summer fighting about Jason . Eventually though, Peyton had just stopped asking to save them from the constant argument. Brooke drops onto the curb just in front of her car, she needed to get a hold of her emotions, she'd let herself cry the night before but today that had to stop. She was Brooke Davis, Tree Hill High's senior class president and captain of the cheerleading squad and she couldn't afford to be emotional. She'd learned to mask anything she was feeling a long time ago and Jason wasn't going to take that away from her.

She could feel like hell on the inside if that's how she felt so long as on the outside she was smiling and cheerful, that's what she'd made herself promise to years ago. And it had worked for her up until now, and she'd been damned if she let that crumble. Twenty deep breaths later she has her outward emotions under control just in time for Lucas to appear.

"Brooke," Lucas looks all apologies as he jogs up to her.

"Hey," Brooke offers a small smile, her face apologetic as well, "I'm sorry. I overreacted...a lot...I just don't like talking about him. He broke my heart and I guess I've never really forgiven him for that."

"And I shouldn't have pushed you," Luke adds.

"So are we okay then Broody?" Brooke asks gently, "I don't want us to fight about my ex."

"Neither do I," Lucas responds leaning and kissing Brooke gently.

Brooke moves to her tiptoes and wraps her arms around Lucas' neck and murmurs, "we could just go back to your place."

"Everyone is waiting for you at your apartment," Lucas reminds as Brooke kisses his neck slowly.

"They can go to Haley and Nathan's," Brooke responds lightly, she's pushing this further they should have but she needs to prove to Lucas that Jason means nothing more to her then the fact that he's her first love.

"They're worried about you," Lucas sighs.

"Fine, fine spoil sport," Brooke raises an eyebrow at Lucas before giving him a final kiss and moving toward the drivers seat. She was going to put Jason Theophilus out of her mind if it's the last thing she does.


	6. Chapter 6: Freshman Year

**Chapter Six**

**A.N. Thank you all for your reviews! They mean a lot to me...thanks to Maggie and Amanda for hearing out my insane ramblings about this story this week...I'm sure you'll here more! army girl, yes Jason is my character. I own the entire Theophilus family and I love them all dearly! As for all of you with your guesses...well you all have a nugget oftruth in them I believe...but Amanda can testify that I don't actually have the end solidly worked out...lol! Anyway enjoy freshman Brooke!

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**

Early October, 2002

* * *

"Park place with a hotel," if Brooke had been playing monopoly with Lydia or Peyton, and they'd just landed on that square, she would have been taunting and teasing. But the circumstances were inappropriate. And even if the circumstances weren't inappropriate Brooke was playing with Jason Theophilus. And in the weeks that she'd been hanging out with Lydia, Brooke had been avoiding Jason. Well not just Jason, Alec, Damien, and Thad (Lydia and Jason's older brothers who came and went almost as if they still lived there).

Jason throws down his last bill, "I'm officially out. I can't believe you actually beat me out at monopoly. No one has beat me at monopoly since I was eleven."

Brooke can't help the smirk that plays at the corner of her mouth with a shrug she states, "I told you I was good."

"I underestimated you," Jason admits, "you're always so quiet, who would have thought you were really sneaky and conniving?" Brooke shrugs and sits up from her position on her stomach on the floor of the Theophilus living room, quietly she begins to put away the game that they'd just spent the last two hours playing to kill time. "Why are you so quiet?"

Brooke bites her lip, they'd gone most of the game with no conversation further then that which was related to the game, "I dunno."

"Is it because I'm an upperclassman and captain of the swim team?" Jason questions, his tone light and teasing.

"You wish," Brooke laughs tossing money at him, but as soon as the action is over her cheeks flush a light pink.

"You blush, more then any other person I've ever met," Jason comments with a laugh.

"Lyd says I blush at least four times a day," at the mention of her friend though Brooke's gaze goes from the phone to the clock and then back. "Do you think she's okay?"

"When my parents called they said she was going to be fine," Jason assures quickly.

"But I mean it's surgery..." Brooke bites her lip.

"An appendectomy," Jason nods, "but my mom said that they caught it in plenty of time and the doctors weren't worried at all."

"I know," Brooke's lip trembles, "but she just looked so..." Brooke bites her lip hoping that it'll keep her from crying but she fails in that and a tear trails down her cheek, as she remembers Lydia's face as they were getting ready for bed. The pain there had caused Brooke to run out of Lydia's bedroom and fly down the stirs to where Mr and Mrs. Theophilus were watching TV. Mr. Theophilus was a doctor and had quickly guessed that it was her appendix and they'd rushed Lydia off to the hospital, that had been two and a half hours ago.

"Hey," Jason's tone softens and he immediately pulls Brooke into a hug, that was something Brooke had noticed while hanging around the Theophilus house. Jason, even though he was usually sarcastic, had an extremely gentle nature and soft spot when it came to his sisters. "She's going to be okay?"

"I know," Brooke responds, but despite her words tears still roll down her cheeks, "I'm just worried about her."

Nothing else can be said because the phone rings and Jason jumps up to answer it, "that's probably them." He states before lifting the phone, "hello?" He shares a brief exchange with his father before placing the phone back in it's cradle, "she came out of the surgery fine. She's awake, a little sore and they want to keep her for a couple of days but she'll be okay."

"Can we go see her?" Brooke asks jumping quickly to her feet.

"Not tonight," Jason shakes his head, "visiting hours are long over. But we can go over tomorrow, you can crash here like you planned to and we'll go in the morning."

"Really?" Brooke smiles.

"Of course," Jason nods.

"Um," Brooke bites her lip, "do you think it'd be okay if I watched a movie down here or something? I don't think I'll be able to sleep."

"That's what I was going to do," Jason states.

"Oh well, I'll leave you alone then..." Brooke stutters as she moves toward the stairs.

"What is with you?" Jason demands.

"What?" Brooke asks, slightly annoyed at the tone in Jason's voice and that shows in her own.

"Did I do something to piss you off?" Jason asks, "because every time I walk into a room you hardly acknowledge me, and when I try to talk to you you hardly say a word."

"I just played a game with you for two hours," Brooke glares in his direction.

"Yeah with minimal conversation," Jason's states but slowly a smirk breaks out across his face and Brooke realizes that he was egging her on. "Finally!" He laughs.

"What?" Brooke still wears a scowl on her face, she doesn't understand the point of his egging her on.

"You can loosen up around me you know," Jason states, "I'm not going to yell at you or something. Or bite..." He pauses, "on second thought, I might...if you ask nicely."

Brooke blushes, but for the first time in Jason's presence she smiles, "you're a jerk."

"So I've been told," Jason responds, "but here, to make it up to you I'll let you choose the movie. So long as it's none of that chick flick crap."

"So you're really a cheerleader?" Jason's asks once they're about half an hour into _A Beautiful Mind_.

"Is it really that hard to believe?" Brooke asks moving her eyes from the screen to Jason's face.

"Well, yeah, it is," Jason responds, "I have a hard time believing that you, who's so quiet all the time can get up in front of a crowd and scream 'go team go'."

"Come to a game sometime and I'll prove it to you," Brooke suggests.

"And cheer on the Raven basketball team? I don't think so," Jason shakes his head with a laugh.

"Not a fan of basketball?" Brooke asks.

"Not in Tree Hill I'm not," Jason laughs, in Tree Hill hits a joke.

"They're a good team," Brooke defends, "they haven't lost a game all season."

"This entire town has an unhealthy obsession with that stupid team," Jason states heatedly, "so, no you'll never catch me at one of those games."

"Is it so wrong to back up a good team?" Brooke asks, "I mean if they're winning..."

"Did you know our baseball team took state last year?" Jason asks staring at her expectantly.

"Well no..."

"Neither does most this town I'm sure, and yet everyone turned out for the regionals game last year...which the basketball team lost."

"Strong opinion huh?" Brooke asks with a laugh.

"I just don't think it's fair."

"Maybe not, but this town has always been in love with basketball..."

"Things can change," Jason insists, "everything can change."

"Not really," Brooke shakes her head, "they may seem like they've changed but deep down they're always going to be the same."

"You mean you don't think high school has changed you?" Jason's asks, "or your best friend?"

"Peyton's still Peyton and I'm still me. Just because we have different friends doesn't change our friendship, or who we are when we're together."

"Peyton?" Jason asks, "Peyton what?"

"Um Sawyer," Brooke gives him a strange look.

"P. Sawyer."

"What, that's dumb...why would you call anyone that?"

"I call lots of people that way..."

"Well it's dumb, she's my friend why would you change it?"

"I've got an ex-girlfriend Peyton Billy, just had to make sure they weren't the same person...tha'd be awkward."

"Big ladies man, huh?"

"Oh, well you know, when you're as hot as I am..."

Brooke rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to the movie and it isn't until Jason has turned his attention back to the movie that Brooke actually realizes everything she'd just said to Jason. Not only was it the most she'd ever said to Jason period, it was probably the most she'd said to any guy at the same time. Surprisingly though Brooke doesn't blush at this revelation, but finishes watching the movie with a small smile across her face.

Brooke and Jason are half-way to the hospital when Brooke's cell phone rings the next morning, a glance at the caller ID and Brooke turns to glare at Jason, "you changed Peyton's name in my phonebook?"

Jason shrugs, "you just left it laying around, it was tempting."

Instead of Pey, like it had before, the name now read P. Sawyer, "you don't just mess with someone's nicknames on their cell phone."

"Oh really?" Jason feigns ignorance, "I guess you'll have to change every name in your phone then."

Brooke's jaw drops before she eventually answers her phone, "hey P. Sawyer..." The name slips out of her mouth before she can even think about it and when she turns to glare at Jason she finds that he's smirking at her.

"P. Sawyer?" Peyton asks with a laugh, "interesting. So B. Davis, what are you up to today? I thought maybe we could hang out?"

"I can't," Brooke responds, "Lydia is in the hospital...she had her appendices out last night so we're on our way to the hospital."

"Is she okay?" Peyton asks quickly.

"She's fine," Brooke responds, "thanks for asking. But we can get together later, after visiting hours are over?"

"I can't my dad's coming in tonight, he's only here for the night," Peyton responds, "how about tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow's fine."

"Alright, I'll talk to you later...B. Davis, I like the new nickname thing," Peyton laughs before they both hang up.

Quickly Brooke scans through her cell phone's phonebook, "you changed everyone that had a last name that you knew!" With a heavy sigh Brooke crosses her arms across her chest and pouts.

"Ooh real mature," Jason rolls his eyes as he pulls into the parking lot of the hospital.

"Oh, yeah, like changing all the names in my cell phone was real mature." Jason just smirks in responds, "do you take pleasure in teasing me?"

"Well, actually, yes I do," Jason admits with a grin.

"Why?"

"The only way I can get you to talk to me is if I piss you off enough."

"That's not true," Brooke shakes her head, "I can be mad at you and not talk to you too."

"Ri-ight," Jason nods skeptically as he parks in the car.

Brooke is still giving Jason the silent treatment when they walk into Lydia's hospital room, "please tell me my brother wasn't being a jerk," is the first words out of Lydia's mouth once she catches the expression Brooke's face.

"He changed all the names in my cell phone," Brooke states.

"He's got a thing with nicknames," Lydia states, "when I'm better I'll kick his ass for you."

Brooke moves forward to gingerly hug her, "how are you?"

"Sore," Lydia admits, "they insist that I stay here for at least two more days, how lame is that?"

"Pretty lame," Brooke agrees.

"Hey Lit," Jason hugs Lydia as well, "they've got a whole rotation at home worked out to keep you company for the entire time you are here."

"I've got to ask, what's Lit?" Brooke asks, "I was pretty sure that you called her Lyd but now I'm thinking it's something else."

Lydia rolls her eyes, "it's my initials, Lydia Iliana Theophilus...like I said he's got at thing for nicknames."

"I'm sorry if I freaked you out," Lydia gives Brooke an apologetic smile.

"I kept her company," Jason winks at both of the girls.

Lydia groans, "I'm really really sorry."

Brooke shrugs, "it's not your fault, just next time I spent the night try not to get appendicitis."

Lydia flashes one of her trademark smiles, "I promise."

They spent three hours in Lydia's hospital room, Lydia and Brooke flipping through magazines and chatting animatedly while Jason flipped through the tv stations. Jason occasionally tuned into the conversation and added his two cents in, usually a sarcastic comment. "I'll come back tomorrow," Brooke promises, as she once again hugs Lydia, who is on the verge of sleep.

"Jason can pick you up."

"I can take the bus," Brooke shakes her head, "or walk, it's not all that far."

"No," Lydia yawns but before Brooke can further protest Lydia has fallen asleep. Jason leans over Lydia placing a gentle kiss on his little sister's forehead before following Brooke out of the room.

"Are you really so mad at me that you won't accept a ride from me?" Jason asks at they walk through the halls of the hospital.

"No," Brooke responds quietly, "I'm not mad."

"So then you just hate me," Jason asks and Brooke finally recognizes his teasing tone.

"No," Brooke shakes her head as she pulls her hair to one side, toying with it nervous. She's surprised at how quickly she's lapsed back into her shy default mode.

"Okay then," Jason's tone hold a tinge of annoyance and Brooke knows that Jason just doesn't understand shy. All of the Theophilus' were loud and outspoken and from his friends that had been around the house Brooke knew that they were the same.

They are in the car before any other words are exchanged, "is there something wrong with me being quiet?"

"It's just unnerving," Jason responds.

Brooke giggles, "_I_ make _you_ nervous?"

"No," Jason lies avoiding any form of eye contact.

Brooke covers her mouth in attempt to cover her giggles, but it fails as she says, "liar."

"Okay, yes, your silence makes me nervous." His words only cause her to laugh more, "why the hell is that so funny?"

"I've never made _anyone_ nervous before."

"Well don't let it go to your head," Jason retorts, feigning annoyance.

"Grum-py," Brooke teases.

"Excuse me, but someone had me up until three o'clock watching a movie and then had me back up at 8:30 to go to the hospital."

"First of all the movie was your choice, second I'll geed you to make up for it either way. Lyd and I ordered Chinese food the other night and there's still a ton left in my 'fridge."

"As long as you actually speak during the meal."

"What and miss you squirm?" Brooke smiles, "deal."


	7. Chapter 7: Senior Year

**Chapter 7 - Mid-April 2006 **

_A.N. Thanks to Kim for picking out the dresses for the girls because my creative juices just weren't into figuring out what they'd end up with for dresses. Thanks to_ eastsider _for dealing with me for most of the day and reassuring me that this chapter wasn't the crap that I think it is...so I'm posting it because she said it was okay...so blame her if it sucks! Also...guys I promise Jason will be in the next senior year chapter...thanks for the reviews keep them coming because I'm pathetically addicted to them! Also to those out there who keep asking for a chapter in Jason's POV, I can't promise you that but I can promise you that you'll know soon enough exactly what Jason thinks about the new Brooke, and as a bit of a spoiler? He's not going to be pleased. And for those of you prepared to hate Jason when he leaves...just remember that nothing is ever as black and white as it seems..._

_

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_

"I am so tired," Haley moans as she drops into a chair at the California Pizza Kitchen in Charlotte, sometime just after one in the afternoon on Saturday. "And by the way Brooke, you're the one who is going to have to deal with my very missed off husband at some point."

"Just because I woke Nathan up a little earlier then he wanted to be on Saturday is no reason for him to get all pissed off," Brooke rolls her eyes as she scans the menu.

"Six thirty Brooke," Haley responds, "that was the time when you began pounding on our apartment door like a maniac."

"And I would have stopped sooner if someone would have answered the door," Brooke brushes the comment off as she continues to read the menu. "Alright," she states looking up from the menu, "I think I'm going to get the Spaghetti Carbonara, what do you guys think you'll get?" Her tone is perky and upbeat, and it's remained that way for most of the shopping adventure, and when it comes down to it she's exhausted. Most the time, when she's dealing with slight grievances or annoyances she keeps up her cheerful tone without a second thought, but when just about everything she sees tries to draw her into her own little world it's harder.

They're served promptly serval minutes later and once the server has placed their drink orders in front of them Brooke turns grinning toward her friends, "I can't believe you both found your dresses." It was true, Peyton had Haley had found their dresses fairly easily and Brooke had to admit that they looked amazing. Peyton had settled for the first dress that look good, and if she hadn't look gorgeous in it Brooke would have complained that she literally was settling. It was a lime green color that just worked for Peyton's skin tone, a halter that flared out at the waist and fell to about the knee. Haley had gone a little more traditional, and had taken longer, but eventually she'd settled on a floor length black strapless gown, with white to offset the top and running down the back into a minor train.

"Now we just need to find you a dress," Peyton states, she was more alert then Haley having had the benefit of an extra hour of sleep while Haley woke up and dressed.

"I know," Brooke nods, "we'll just have to hit Raleigh up next weekend. I've got to find the dress that'll wow Lucas."

"So you and Luke are okay?" Haley asks tentatively.

"Yeah, why do you ask?" Brooke hopes that playing the innocent card will either throw her friends off or at least let them know that she doesn't want to talk about her and Lucas' problems.

"Well, maybe because you guys looked to be on the verge of an explosion when we headed back to your apartment the other day," Peyton pipes in, "and you had us waiting for you guys for about twenty minutes."

"Look," Brooke sighs, "we had some things to talk about..."

"Jason."

Brooke glares at her curly blonde friend, "yes, Jason. He just needed to know that there isn't anything between us anymore."

"Is there?" Haley questions.

Brooke shifts under her friends intense gazes, "of course not," she responds, her heart pounds painfully in her chest. She'd said it without thinking, but now that she's gotten the words out she can't let herself think about it. Can't let herself re-evaluate how she was saying she felt versus how she actually felt.

"You don't seem so sure about that," Peyton points out.

"I am," Brooke snaps.

"Peyton's right," Haley nods, "maybe you should figure out how you feel..."

"What the hell guys?" Brooke asks, "what is this lunch a break Brooke and Lucas up event? When you and Nathan were having problems I kept my mouth shut Tutor-wife and what about you Blondie? I've never criticized you moping over Jake...so why the instant Lucas and I have problems do you jump all over me?"

"Brooke we're just trying to help," Haley states, she and Peyton share stunned looks at Brooke's sudden outburst.

"Well, there's nothing to help with," quickly Brooke's donned her calm mask, "okay? Luke and I are fine. Jason being back? Just a little hiccup in the wonderfulness of senior year. Okay? I'm just so tired of having to talk about this anymore. Everyone's second guessing me like I'm some sort of idiot, I'm well aware of how I feel about Jason. And how I feel about Lucas. Don't make me start to second guess myself."

Both girls nod, what choice did they have beyond that? They knew Brooke well enough to know that her blow up was a good sign that if they pushed her any further they might end up being left behind. "So," Haley changes the subject, although the transition is awkward and obviously forced, "what are we going to do about a dress for you, Tigger?"

Brooke shrugs and sips her diet coke before respond, "I was thinking I should just design my own, I mean I am going to major in design next year...and I did go to Rouge Vouge and my clothes _are _hot..."

"Brooke, that's a great idea!" Peyton states.

Haley nods, "we should have had you do ours too."

"Sorry Tutor-Wife, but with the way things are stacking up for prom I'll be lucky if I can get my dress done in time," Brooke responds, "but hey when you get married...or wait, that doesn't work...Peyton when you get married and I'm famous I'll design your dress..."

"So I don't get a Brooke Davis original?" Haley asks pouting, the banter would sound normal to anyone sitting around them no different then any other teenage girls who dotted the shopping center that the restaurant sat in. But to anyone who knew the three best friends it would be easy to tell that no one had completely forgotten about the blow up minutes ago, and that the conversation and banter is forced and rigid so unlike the usual quick wit exchanged amongst the three. It would stay that way, until their food was served and then they would exchange compliments about their food but beyond that the three would slip into their own thoughts. And later, when the bill was settled, they would unanimously decide that there was no longer any reason to stay in Charlotte and head home.

* * *

"Don't leave yet, okay?" Peyton asks before she slips out of Brooke's car upon their arrival in Tree Hill, "I have something I want to give you, okay?" 

"Okay," Brooke nods, what was two more minutes of this hellish trip? She had to thank whoever it was that had invented music in, the return trip's silence had been filled with music as the three girls hardly spoke. Brooke felt bad, she wouldn't deny that, for putting such a horrible spin to the rest of the day and silently she cursed Jason for ruining everything all over again. She'd worked hard to rebuild her life, and in one week he'd caused a fight between her and Lucas and between her best friends.

"Here," Peyton reappears next to Brooke's open window wielding a smallish photo album. "I know you're going to upset with me for saying this, but I think there are some things you need to face. I'm not accusing you of not loving Lucas, but I think there's some realities about your relationship with Jason that you need to remember. I don't know what they are, because you've always clammed up about what went wrong with Jason, and I'm not going to ask for anymore answers. But I think you have to have your own answers or it's going to eat you up inside."

* * *

Brooke had spent the last half an hour skirting around the photo album that sat on the kitchen counter, doing anything but looking at it. First it came to her attention that the bathroom was in a desperate need to be cleaned, and then she figured while she was cleaning she might as well be do the rest of apartment. But Brooke had never really been a slob so the cleaning had taken her no time, and now she sat with a bottle of water at her counter staring at the red covered album. With a final sigh of resignation Brooke scoops up the album along with her bottle of water and settles back onto her couch. 

In all reality she didn't need to flip through this album, she could remember most of freshman year clearly...before alcohol had entered into her system and left blank spaces of time where she'd been to drunk to remember anything. The first page though she can't help the smile that crosses her face at the sight of her and Peyton mugging for the camera on the first day, completely opposite and yet best friends. Peyton's hair a mass of blonde curls, Brooke's braided into two french braids, their arms wrapped around each other. Nothing could touch them, it was the two of them against the world. When they'd smiled at that camera had they known how vastly different they'd be four years later? Probably no more then Brooke could fathom what the next four years of her life held.

The consecutive pictures were of cheerleading, and dances and just hanging out. It's not really until she's over half way through the album that Brooke even comes across pictures of her and Jason. The final picture of Brooke and Jason together was on the last day of school, the school had hosted a picnic for the student body after finals. Brooke had never seen this particular picture before, but it's a picture of her curled up under a tree sound asleep with Jason's arm wrapped around her and giving a half smile and a wink at the camera. If Brooke remembered correctly that had been when Jason had told her that he wasn't going to go to Chicago for the prep school he'd been accepted to and at that exact moment she couldn't have felt more content with her life.

A wave of that same feeling washes over Brooke and it even spurs her movement off of the couch and into her bedroom. Within minutes she's halfway under her bed rooting through the various things she has stored there but in no time she finds her own album. She'd never looked at it while she was living in the apartment but she'd always been more then well aware of it's exact location under her bed. The tears start the instant she opens up the album, immediately confronted with a picture taken by Althea Theophilus on Halloween, Brooke had gone as Scarlet from _Gone With the Wind_ and Lydia had been a Greek Goddess. Slowly the tears run down her cheeks as she continues to flip through the rest of the album, most of the pictures featured here with Lydia or Jason or both.

The last picture in the album though catches Brooke's attention for several minutes, it was the Theophilus family picture with the beach as a beautiful backdrop. Everyone wore dark jeans and a red shirt and Brooke, wrapped in Jason's arms, just seemed to fit in the family. But even before Jason they'd made her feel comfortable in their home, like one of the family. And with that in mind Brooke reaches into the pocket of her shorts and produces her cell phone. She dials the number straight from memory.

Brooke chews on her lower lip nervously as the phone on the other line rings, she was probably insane for even trying this. There was, at best a one in six chance that the right person would answer the phone at the Theophilus, and right now she couldn't bare to speak to anyone else. On the fourth ring Brooke's nervous waiting is put to rest, "hello?"

"Hi," Brooke breathes out a sigh of relief, audible on the other line of the phone.

"Duckling?"

It's all Brooke can do to keep from sobbing at the nickname, "yeah." Brooke takes a deep breath, determined to get through with the phone call, "I was, um, wondering if I could see you. I know I didn't leave things on the best of terms..."

"I'd like to see you again too," the voice on the other line responds, "where do you want to meet?"

Brooke's mind races for a minute, they couldn't just meet anywhere...no, she couldn't handle another round of questioning that would happen if they were spotted together. So that left her apartment and Karen's out. And she couldn't face going back to the house.

"There's a new Greek restaurant by the mall."

"I've seen it," Brooke agrees, "in half an hour?"

"I'll see you then."


	8. Chapter 8: Freshman Year

**Chapter Eight**

**_A.N. Yes, this is a plea for reviews. They keep me going. They keep me informed as to what you are and what you are not liking. So review! Everyone benefits all around!

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Thanksgiving, 2002

"Brooke, sweetie," Althea opens the door an immediately pulls Brooke into a warm hug, "you know you don't have to ring the doorbell, you're like family you might as well just walk in."

"Happy Thanksgiving Mrs. Theophilus," Brooke smiles at the slightly plump woman standing in front of her. Brooke had the feeling that the Theophilus girls, all petite (the eldest, Daphne, was also the tallest at 5'3) with long black hair and big brown eyes, had gotten every bit of their looks from their mother. She was nearing fifty and her dark hair, always pulled back into a bun, was graying but there remained a youthfulness and a beautyy around her at all times.

"Happy Thanksgiving to you. Come in Duckling," Althea insists stepping aside to let Brooke pass through, "everyone is either in the kitchen or the living room."

"Duckling?" Brooke can't help but ask.

"Jason finally settled on a nickname for you," Althea informs with a smile, "he announced it to everyone just a couple minutes ago. I thought I'd give it a test run, it suites you. But if you'd like to discuss it with him, he's in the living room."

"Thanks," Brooke nods, Jason had been working on a nickname for her for weeks and Brooke had spent those weeks subjected to test runs that just sounded ridiculous and honestly, Duckling wasn't much better.

"I'm glad you could come over today," Althea adds before they separate.

"Thank you for inviting me," Brooke responds, "my parents are in Germany, my dad is there on business."

Althea clicks her tongue in disapproval, Brooke knew that Althea didn't care for the fact that Brooke's parents were around but she never actually said anything. "You're always welcome here, Duckling."

Brooke quickly hugs Althea one last time before heading toward the living room. The resounding greeting of, "Duckling!" greets Brooke the instant she walks in, causing her to blush.

"Hi," Brooke offers a small wave before she plops onto the floor next to Jason, pulling Daphne's two year-old daughter into her lap. "Duckling?"

Jason gives her a smirk and a shrug as he turns his attention from the Macy's day parade to her face, "it works."

"How?" Brooke asks, "Lit makes sense. Mia, for Mama Mia makes sense despite the fact that your Greek, not Italian. But Duckling."

"Penelope."

"Oh my god!" Brooke exclaims, "Lydia told you?"

"She did," Jason nods, "and it was very helpful knowledge."

"I still don't understand how you get Duckling from Penelope."

"Penelope sounds like duck in Greek...but duck just didn't work so..."

"So, Duckling."

"Yep."

"So there's not talking you out of it, right?"

"Nope."

"What do you think Ella?" Brooke asks the girl who's starring, exchanged at her necklace, "do you like the name Duckling?"

"Yeah," she laughs.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Ella giggles as Brooke tips her backwards tickling her belly with her fingers, and her face with her long hair.

"Hey Brooke," Lydia sticks her head into the living room.

"Hey Lyd," Brooke returns the greeting.

"Wanna help us in the kitchen?"

Brooke bites her lip and shakes her head, "not if you want to eat anything tonight."

"Mom knows you don't know how to cook," Lydia informs, "she says she wants to teach you how to make mashed potatoes."

"Not that mashed potatoes," Brooke shakes her head, "those are key to Thanksgiving dinner, I don't want to deprive anyone of those."

"Duckling, I'll teach you!" Althea calls from the kitchen, "you won't ruin anything I promise."

Brooke sighs, "just don't forget that I warned you when Thanksgiving dinner is a failure." Brooke gently pulls Ella to a sitting position and moves her into Jason's lap, "here Ella-Bella, go see your crazy Uncle Jason."

"But I want come with you," she pouts, sticking her lower lip out in a gesture that Brooke immediately knows that Jason has taught her.

"How about I go help your Grandma now, and then I'll braid your hair before dinner?"

"-k!" The little girl grins, but before she allows Brooke to go she wraps her arms around Brooke's neck giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Bye, bye Brook-ling," Ella waves as everyone else laughs at her mixed up words.

"Daphne, you have the sweetest daughter in the entire world," Brooke declares when she walks into the kitchen to find several members of the Theophilus family hard at work at different tasks.

"Let's hope this two are equally sweet," Daphne agrees, rubbing her huge stomach she was seven months pregnant but looked ready to pop at anytime.

"I can wait to have kids," Brooke sighs, "they're just so cute!"

"I think you'll be a great mom," Althea responds with a smile as she sets Brooke up at the counter.

Brooke smiles, "thank you. I think my parents have taught me what not to do in parenting."

Althea gently pats Brooke's arm before instructing, "for right now all I want you to do is peel the skin off of all of these potatoes." Althea quickly demonstrates on one of the potatoes in the large mound, more than enough potatoes to feed the fifteen people who'd be present for dinner.

"Okay," Brooke nods, "I think I can handle this so far."

"So, Brooke do you think you want a big family?" Nine-year-old Zoe, the baby of the Theophilus siblings, asks from the kitchen table where she is peeling carrots.

"More then one," Brooke states, "that's for sure. Especially when I was younger it was so boring...but I don't know about nine."

"Well, I want ten," Lydia states, "I'm determined to beat Mom." Brooke laughs, with her high energy she had no doubt that Lydia could easily handle a house with ten kids.

* * *

"She's out," Brooke laughs at Lydia who is curled up on the floor of the living room, everyone else had either gone home or to bed. But Lydia, Brooke and Jason, who had quickly become inseparable over the last couple of weeks, had decided to finish out Thanksgiving with a showing of _It's a Wonderful Life_.

"She's been up since five-thirty," Jason responds, "she insisted on being the one to do the turkey this year."

"You're family is great, did you know that?" Brooke asks, pulling her knees up under her and glancing at Jason in the light of the black and white movie.

"My family loves you," Jason adds, his face locked onto hers.

"So does having a nickname make me special?" Brooke asks, he's staring at her more intensely than he has before, and it brings a flush to her face that the darkness hides. "I guess not, you gave P. Sawyer her nickname."

"I've never spent so long picking out a nickname for anyone before," Jason admits his eyes locking onto hers.

Brooke jumps up before she can even react, she'd never had a guy stare at her before like Jason does and it's making her heart race, "I'm gonna get a drink, do you want a drink?" She's already making her way through the dark house and into the kitchen before he can respond.

Once she reaches the kitchen Brooke sucks in deep breathes, trying to calm her nerves but just as she's caught her breath he's there. "Duckling," his voice his low and there's a tone in it that she's never noticed before.

"Jason...sorry I was just really, really thirsty," Brooke pulls open the cabinets and pulls a glass out, "do you want a cup?"

"I'm fine," Jason sighs.

Brooke remains silent as she fills her glass up at the fridge and she takes some sips before eventually asking, "so Thad mentioned that you're applying to a prep school?"

"Yeah," Jason responds, "it's in Chicago and if I get in I'll go there for my senior year of high school and it'll get my freshman year of college done as well. It's hard to get into."

"Well, that's pretty cool," Brooke responds, it's awkward now and she knows that Jason feels it too. But she can't stop herself from thinking about what exactly had that look meant? She'd caught him staring at her before, but it always seemed to be when she was doing something stupid so she'd always brushed it off to that. But tonight had been different. What had it meant? She clears her throat, and forces herself back into the conversation, "any clue what you want to do?"

"Anything as far away from here as possible," Jason responds.

"You don't like Tree Hill?" Brooke asks pulling herself up to sit on the counter.

"No," Jason states simply, "this is a town where everyone has nothing better to do to turn out for a stupid basketball game and get in the middle of everyone else's business."

"That didn't sound at all bitter," Brooke arches an eyebrow, she'd never heard Jason talk so negatively about anything. But as soon as she thinks that she realizes that he had the last time she had brought up basketball with him.

"I love my family," Jason states, "but being one of nine in a small town is a pain in the ass. Besides there's so many of us there's always some rumor going on about us."

"I've never heard any rumor," Brooke confesses.

"Last year it was all about Alec doing drugs and Ella's father was the year before that," Jason lets out a long frustrated grown.

"Alec did drugs last year?" Brooke asks shocked.

"Hell no!"

Brooke cringes, "sorry. But if the rumors aren't true then what does it matter?"

"It matters when the rumors are true but people don't bother to get their damn facts straight." With a sigh Jason explains, "Matthew isn't Ella's father, Daph was dating this abusive ass but when she got pregnant she left him, and started dating Matthew soon after that. They said horrible things about Daph and every word hurt her. All I know is I'm going to get the hell out of this town before they can find something to make me the object of the towns gossip."

Brooke hops off of the counter, "why don't we just finish watching the movie." When she walks by him, Brooke stops to confront the frown on his face, poking him lightly on the chest she states, "don't be such a grump. It's Thanksgiving, time to be thankful for what we do have and not pissed off about stuff that happened in the past."

"How can you be so cheerful all the time?" Jason asks, "I've never heard a negative thing come out of your mouth...unprovoked of course. You talk about your parents being away like it's nothing and you've never actually said anything about them..."

Brooke shrugs, "what's the point really? Being angry about them not being around isn't going to bring them back. It's lonely sometimes, yeah, but it's less lonely since Lydia decided to bring me home like a puppy."

"I'm glad she brought you home," Jason responds and once again that same expression is on his face.

"Although I suppose I'm not really a puppy, I'm a duckling..." Brooke's babbling, a fact that she realizes, but she's doing everything humanly possible to keep from looking at Jason again. He made her nervous, and it was a different kind of nervous then she usually felt when she was confronted with someone she didn't know. It was more of a nervousness that made her loose trust in the fact that her knees were going to hold body up. And the babbling? Brooke didn't babble under normal nervous conditions, normally when she was nervous she shut up. He moves closer to her and before she even realizes she's moved she's starring up at him again.

She's close enough to smell his cologne now and it's now that she comprehends that he has every intention to kiss her. She briefly wonders if he realizes that it's her first kiss. But then her thoughts quickly shift to her breath. And then to the fact that she knows nothing about...

"Where'd you guys go?" Lydia is out of sight but her voice causes both to jump about a foot apart.

"We...I..." Brooke stutters, "water..."

Lydia gives Brooke a strange look but then asks, "so are we finishing the movie or what?"

"You know," Brooke feigns a yawn, "I'm exhausted...and obviously you are to so we should probably just go to bed." With that she grabs Lydia's hand and moves her out of the kitchen, both of them calling quick 'good-nights' to Jason.

Lydia doesn't question Brooke on the quick exit or the strange personality shift, and Brooke has the feeling that that's only because she's only half-awake. It takes Brooke longer to fall asleep, her thoughts racing about what had just happened. Jason Theophilus, older brother to one of her best friends, had almost kissed her. She lay awake for hours thinking that over, but when she eventually drifted off to sleep she had no conclusion as to what she thought about that or how she felt about it.


	9. Chapter 9: Senior Year

**Chapter 9**

A.N. Okay so it's been longer then usual waiting for this update, but hey it's a long one so enjoy! So this is the chapter that you guys have all been waiting for...the conclusion to the cliffhanger and a confrontation with Jason! So I hope that makes up for the fact that the end of this chapter is a little cliffhangerish...Thanks everyone for your reviews and thanks a million times over to eastsider_**because without her guys this story totally wouldn't be happening. She's the one that's keeping the updates coming, and she checks every little part before I post it and gives me great encouragement...not to mention that we have the same vision for this story! ** _

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Mid-April 2006

Brooke is greeted by a hostess at the small Greek restaurant, "I'm meeting someone, Theophilus?"

"The back corner," the woman responds, "I can take you."

Brooke shakes her head, "I can go, thank you though." Brooke makes her way to the back of the and finally stops at the corner table, "hi," Brooke's voice trembles once she extends the greeting.

"Duckling!" Althea Theophilus moves quickly to her feet pulling Brooke into a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry," Brooke sobs, the instant Althea's arms are wrapped tightly around her.

"No, no," Althea's voice is soothing as she gently strokes Brooke's dark hair, "you have nothing to apologize for."

"I do, I do," Brooke protests, "you all were so nice to me and I just blew you off."

"You were in pain..."

"That's no excuse," Brooke shakes her head.

"Now stop," Althea pulls away and gently wipes at Brooke's tears, "now sit and tell me about what is going on in your life. Natasha says that you are senior class president, that's wonderful."

Brooke nods, "I really like it."

"I proud of you," Althea states, "who knew that the shy girl that Lydia brought home would go on to become president?"

"I've changed," Brooke says.

"I see that," Althea nods, "and you have a boyfriend?"

"Um, yeah," Brooke stops herself from saying anything further, it felt strange to talk to Jason's mom about Luke.

"He's captain of the basketball team isn't he?" The way Althea asks makes Brooke realize that she probably already knows a lot about her life from Natasha. Natasha who hadn't liked Brooke from the moment she stepped foot in the Theophilus house. And Brooke was sure that she hadn't skimped on any details - like her bitchy party-going reputation. And the realization alone that she's let Althea down in some way makes Brooke feel physically ill.

"Brooke," Althea pauses, collecting her thoughts before continuing, "I know things didn't work out between you and Jason. But I don't want you to think you can't come to me, I wish I had told you that years ago..."

"I was angry..."

"You were," Althea agrees, "and I let you go on and be angry. That wasn't right."

"Everything happened so quickly and then by the time...I could cope...it was just easier to stay away."

"You're right," Althea nods, "that's how it was on our end too. I'm glad you called."

Brooke offers an authentic smile, "I'm glad I called too." A companionable silence falls over the two and finally Brooke can't help but ask the question that will give her an answer to something she'd been itching to know since Jason had walked into t he café. "So how many grandchildren do you have now?"

Althea beams, "eight now."

"Eight? Guess everyone has been busy."

Althea laughs lightly, "Daphne and Marc have four now, Ella, Aiden, Aaron and Jessa. Thad and Isabelle have two, Thad junior, T.J., and Christiana. Damien and Julia have Elizabeth, and then Chloe."

"Chloe is...Jason's?"

Althea nods and gives Brooke's hand a gentle squeeze, "yeah, she is."

"And her mother...is she...is she here too?"

Althea shakes her head sadly, "she died...complications."

"Oh, Jason must have been devestated," in another wave of guilt Brooke's words to Jason knock the wind out of her chest. _"Don't bother, you've moved on...found someone who could help you relive your dream..."_

"It caught him off guard, he hadn't seen Mary in months, he didn't even know she was pregnant," Althea's dark eyes shimmer with sympathy.

"H-how old is Chloe?"

"Six months, almost to the day," Althea responds matter of factly, "she's little for her age...but I suppose that's to be expected. But now, tell me all about this prom you are organizing, Natasha says you've got it all arranged and it's going to be beautiful."

Brooke smiles, settling back into her chair glad for the comfortable change of subject, "yeah, it's been a lot of hard work but..."

* * *

"This is exactly what we needed," Brooke slurs lounging on a bar stool with Haley and Peyton on either side of her, "a girls night with no boy talk. And no boys. Just my Tutor-Wife and my P. Sawyer." It was Sunday night and Brooke had insisted that Haley and Peyton come out with her, to make up for the way she had acted the previous day. But in reality Brooke couldn't contain her nervous energy, in some way she had hoped that talking to Althea would help her find some sort of closure. When that hadn't come around noon on Sunday, after a sleepless night, Brooke had called Peyton and Haley, apologized for acting like a bitch and then insisted they come out with her. And that was how, around 9:30 Brooke ended up drunk off of her ass with her handy fake ID tucked into her back pocket.

"Hey Brooke," Haley suggests, "maybe you should take it easy on the alcohol...you've got to be in school tomorrow."

"I'm fine Tutor-Wife," Brooke shakes her head, "I've had a hell of a lot more to drink then this and ended up in school no worse for the wear."

"I'm not sure that's something to go around bragging about," the voice comes off to the right of Haley and everyone turns to face Jason. Haley cringes and closes her eyes and Peyton glances at Brooke, both holding their breath and both waiting for an explosion, or a meltdown that never comes.

Brooke hops off of the bar stool, her heels making a loud click in the process, she walks up to Jason standing toe to toe with him before tapping him on the chest. "Jason you're ruining our girls night." But then she turns to face the girls, "girls this is my ex-boyfriend, Jason. Jason this is Tutor-wife, and of course P. Sawyer you remember Jason."

"Vividly," Peyton's expression is dark, she knew that having Jason back in Brooke's life was hard for her best friend and more then anything she just wished that Brooke would open up to them. But it didn't take an idiot to see that Brooke was going to make the situation worse at this moment in time, "Brooke how about we go home?"

"No," Brooke shakes her head and stomps her foot like a little kid. "Did your mom tell you I was asking about you Jason...'sthat why you're here? You think, hey she must want me back in her life jus' 'cause I was I asked about your daughter..."

"I had no idea that you met with my mother," Jason responds, and it's visible by his facial expression that he had no clue that Brooke had spoken to his mother recently.

"Brooke..." Haley pulls on Brooke's arm, sharing a worried glance with Peyton, "we should go."

Brooke brushes Haley off, "good...cause I'm taken. You can't have me anymore."

"Brooke, you're drunk," Peyton takes over for Haley now, "maybe you shouldn't say anything now you're going to regret in the morning..."

Jason takes in Brooke's entire appearance and demeanor before asking, "so everything Natasha has said about you, is true."

"That I'm a bitch and a party going slut who got knocked up?" Brooke asks, before making a nosie that's hard to decipher whether it's a giggle or a sob, "oh wait, that last one was with you."

Haley takes a step back, sinking back onto her barstool to take in the news, while Peyton glances back and forth between the two to see if either will deny it. But by the pained look on Jason's face it's blatantly obvious that there's a truth to Brooke's words. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Jason demands, his voice is low and it's obvious that he's trying not to draw a scene in the middle of the bar.

"I've changed," Brooke tosses her hair, as if her previous statement hadn't matter, as if she was in the bar having an everyday conversation.

Jason sighs and it's obvious that he's fighting a temper, "someone once told me that people don't actually change, that deep down they're always going to be the same."

"Well that person was a naive idiot," Brooke spits, "who thought they could put their trust into people they couldn't."

"You know what, you're absolutely right, you have changed. Because the Brooke Davis I loved was sweet, and caring and shy. And yeah, maybe she was a little naive but you're the type of girl she hated, and never wanted to become."

"You know what Jason? You can just go to hell because you walked away form my life and you don't get a say in it anymore," she shoves against his chest, "I hate you."

Haley and Peyton come out of their shocked trance like states and immediately leap into action, each grabbing one of Brooke's arms and literally dragging her out of the bar. She fights part of the way but eventually she gives in, as she realizes that the secret she'd kept for so long had been blurted out in a drunken slur. And once that fully sinks in Brooke allows herself to be led toward her car, to be placed in the passenger seat while Peyton fumbles through her purse for the keys. She has no tears to express what she's feeling and everything around her seems to be moving slowly and in a hazy.

When they reach the apartment building Nathan is waiting in the parking lot and Brooke has the vague recollection of Haley calling him on her cell phone. Brooke doesn't protest when Nathan scoops her up, or Peyton once again digs through her purse for the keys of her apartment. She has a dim sense that she's freaking her friends out, but she doesn't respond until Luke's name comes up in the conversation of what they should do to help her.

"Maybe we should call Luke..." Haley suggests, Nathan's laid Brooke out on her bed and the brunette is curled up under her sheets, her back facing her friends

"No," her voice is hoarse, as if she'd been crying this entire time.

"Well then I'm staying," Peyton states, her voice firm as if she'll not take no for answer.

"I don't want you here," Brooke responds, "I want to be alone."

"I don't..." Haley begins, before Brooke cuts her off from voicing her opinion or concern.

"I'm not a suicidal manic Haley," Brooke is still turned away from them and her voice is more muffled by the comforter that she has bunched up near her face. "I'm drunk. And I want to be left alone to sleep." It takes them awhile to agree that Brooke can be left alone, but after a whispered conversation by the door they leave her in peace and within minutes Brooke drops off into an exhausted sleep.

* * *

When Brooke wakes up the next morning and the first thing to remind her of the night before is the hangover to prove to her exactly how much she had to drink. She lets out a moan as she realizes that while she'd had enough to drink to hinder her ability to keep her damn mouth shut, she hadn't had enough to erase her memory of the night before and right now she is really wishing you had. She hadn't been able to see Peyton and Haley's expressions, because both had been a step behind her, but she could imagine them easily. And she could remember their hushed, concerned, tones when they'd brought her back to the apartment. She realizes now that Lucas'll have to know and she's going to have to find a way to tell him.

Braving the light that's shining through her window Brooke chances a glance a the clock. Amazingly Brooke hasn't overslept and with a sigh she forces herself to roll out of her bed and stumble toward the bathroom, sluggishly beginning her morning routine.

* * *

" You knew?" Haley stares at her husband from across the table where they are both eating cereal.

Nathan stares at Haley over the top of his coffee cup, she obviously wasn't happy about the secret keeping but he nods his head anyway, "yeah."

"So you and Peyton knew. Does Luke know?"

"As far as I know," Nathan sets his coffee cup down on the table and sighs, "Peyton didn't know before last night. And Lucas sure as hell doesn't know."

"So just you knew?" Haley's having a hard time wrapping her mind around this new tidbit of knowledge.

"I was the only one around that summer," Nathan responds, "Peyton was at summer camp and we'd been hanging out. She told me in a scene very similar to what the bar must have been like last night..." Haley lets out a sigh and dropping her spoon she leans back in her chair, Nathan immediately takes this as a sign of anger, "it's not something I could just tell you Haley. She hadn't even told Peyton, besides it's not like it's something I give a lot of thought to. It was a long time ago."

"I'm not angry," Haley shakes her head, "it's just, I mean to have kept a secret like that for so long." Both fall silent for a minute, lost in their own thoughts until Haley asks, "Lucas said that Brooke mentioned that she was different when she was with Jason. How different are we talking?"

"Brooke?" Nathan laughs, "she was the most innocent girl I've ever met, and you're included in that. She blushed at anything. And she..." Nathan shakes his head sadly, "she was an entirely different person, right now she's so broken."

"She's happy though," Haley protests, "with Lucas..."

Nathan nods, "yeah, she is I'm sure. But she's not the same, the Brooke Davis that I grew up with radiated with happiness."

Haley sighs dropping her chin to the palm of her hand, "poor Brooke."

* * *

Brooke glances at herself in a mirror in the car, she had about fifteen minutes until school and in that time she knew that she could find everyone sitting at the table that they usually occupied before school. She had two options, one was to kill time and avoid her friends as much as humanly possible, for as long as humanly possible. Or two, put her plan into action, and act completely normal and let them assume that she'd been to drunk last night to actually remember the exchange between Jason. Applying bubble gum scented lip gloss Brooke forces herself to at least go along with plan B for now, at least until she could gather her thoughts - something she couldn't do with the throbbing in her head.

Grabbing her sunglasses Brooke places them over her eyes before letting herself out of her car and making her way toward the table. Everyone's already there and even from a distance she can tell that there's an awkward silence, Haley has her forehead resting on Nathan's chest Peyton is sketching in a sketchbook and Lucas just looks uncomfortable. "Hello there my friends, half of which allowed me to get drunker then anyone should be allowed on a Sunday night." Her voice is a mix of teasing and moody and it causes everyone's eyes to lock on her immediately. She places a soft kiss on Lucas' lips before greeting, "hello boyfriend."

"Hey," Lucas greets wrapping his arms around her, "long night?"

"Yes," Brooke moans, "I had way to much to drink last night." She turns to face Peyton and Haley, "please tell me that I didn't say anything to embarrassing." Haley, Peyton and Nathan all exchange glances and Brook sighs, "I said something totally embarrassing, didn't I?"

Nathan and Haley's gazes come to rest on Peyton, willingly allowing her to take over the decision making process. Eventually Peyton shakes her head, making up her mind to talk to Brooke about her drunken revelation when they could do so more privately, "nothing too embarrassing."

"Good," Brooke smirks, but honestly she feels guilty for lying to her friends, "but I've got to go. I have to meet with some people about some prom stuff, and I've got a meeting at lunch too. But we should all meet for dinner. Karen's? 6:30? Okay?" Brooke quickly kisses Lucas one last time before offering a wave to everyone else.

She immediately heads toward the entrance to the school, but once she's inside and realizes that she can't control the tears that have built up behind her sunglasses she knows that she won't be able to manage the entire day. She'd given herself a perfect alibi if she pulled a disappearing act for the day, all she had to do was get back to Karen's in enough time to meet everyone for dinner. Easily Brooke navigates the halls to find one of the side exits out of the school, and by the time she is safely out the door the bell has rung giving her the perfect opportunity to slip out of the parking lot unnoticed.

* * *

When Brooke had left the school this wasn't where she'd intended to go. She figured that she'd head back to the apartment and sleep the rest of the day away, allowing herself to just not think about anything. But somehow she'd ended up at the park, it hadn't really been a conscious decision but here she was anyway. Settled on a bench in the park, with her knees pulled to her chest and her sunglasses hiding her brown eyes shimmering with tears.

"Hey," the voice behind her is tentative and nervous, to things Brooke had never heard in Jason's voice years ago, but now it seems like it's always there.

Brooke turns to glare at him, "what the hell? Are you stalking me? First the bar now the park?"

"Are you sure you're not to drunk to remember the bar?" Brooke realizes with a start that there's no malice in Jason's tone now, but it's not teasing either and she can't read the expression behind his words.

He settles next to her on the bench and the two spend a long time not speaking, watching mother's and nannies pushing little children on the swings in the distance. They've been there nearly thirty minutes when Jason hears the telltale sounds of Brooke sniffling and completely on auto-pilot he wraps an arm around her shoulder, his tone instantly soothing, "hey, hey."

And almost as if the last three years have never happened Brooke relaxes into his embrace burying her face in his shoulder, "sometimes," Brooke's voice shakes while she speaks but she manages the words nonetheless. "I come here and just watch the kids, and there's always one kid that I can't help but think that that could be our baby. And that could be me pushing him or her on the swings, or playing in the sandbox."

Jason immediately pulls her to him, his hand pressing lightly against the back of her head, "I know, I do too."

"You just left," Brooke whispers, but the words reach Jason's ears, "and I tried to move on. I pushed everything away and I was doing fine...I was doing fine until you came back and ruined everything for me." She pulls herself away quickly now and scoots away on the bench putting space in-between the two of them. "I was happy before you came back, everything was perfectly fine."

"Perfectly fine like your boyfriend cheating on you? Perfect like partying your life away?" Jason demands.

"You don't know about any of that," Brooke's voice is low but holds more emotion then could have been expressed if she'd stepped up on the bench and screamed it out.

"I know that your perfect basketball player boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend and you took him back with open arms."

"At least he was around to welcome back," Brooke snaps before moving off of the bench and stalking toward her car.

"Duckling!" The old nickname slips out of Jason's mouth before he can stop himself and he realizes when she swings around that it was the last thing he should have said.

"Don't you dare call me that," Brooke's voice is icy and her lips come to rest in a firm straight line for a moment before asking. "What the hell are you doing back Jason? Can't you just crawl back under whatever rock it is you've been living under for the last four years?"

"Mom's sick," Jason says the words and he can't hide the sadness in them, and the combination of the words and the tone hit Brooke's stomach like ice water.

"What?"

"A tumor," Jason words make it clear that it's painful for him to talk about it but that doesn't stop Brooke's questions.

"But I just saw her, she seemed perfectly fine," Brooke rationalizes, "I mean she didn't seem any different."

"She has her good days," Jason nods.

"But," Brooke takes a deep breath, "she's going to be fine right? I mean they'll treat her for the tumor and she'll be fine. Right?" Brooke bites the inside of her cheek while she waits for Jason to respond, "right? Jason, she's going to be okay, right?" She doesn't actually need Jason to respond, she can still read his facial features like an open book and everything written there tells her that no, Althea won't be fine and that he's come back to say good-bye.


	10. Chapter 10: Freshman Year

**Chapter 10**

Mid-January 2003

A.N. Thanks everyone for being patient with me through the cliffhanger from out last freshman chapter...but that cliffhanger is pivotal to them actually getting together, so I'm sure you can forgive me. I'm sorry for the delay on updates, but I think I'm gonna start taking weekends off, because I pretty much have my head in the clouds over the weekend...But I've got to say that some of you coughBrucasloverscough are warming to Jason. This chapter is chock full of Brason love but bare with me Brucas lovers because the next chapter is chock full of Brucas love! Guys sorry it took so long, it's been crazy around here and then I got sick, and I just didn't write because me+sickcrappy chapter. But I hope that by the end of the chapter you'll not be mad at me anymore!

* * *

Brooke was an auto-pilot. And for the first basketball game of the season, that was not a good way to be. The cheers came out just because she could say them in her sleep. If she didn't know them any better she'd look like an idiot. And it wasn't her fault she was this way. It was the fault of the gorgeous Greek junior sitting in the stands of the basketball court. _The_gorgeous Greek junior who had swore he'd never come see her play. The same one who almost kissed her at Thanksgiving. The very boy she'd been avoiding since. To the extent that she'd tagged along with her parents to Aruba for Christmas and ducked to avoid him in the halls.

Brooke wishes she could say she was avoiding him because this almost kiss didn't mean anything and she didn't want to embarrass him. But it was for that exact reason. Since that night she hadn't been able to get Jason out of her head. But she'd made such a fool out of herself that night that she was afraid that he thought she was some kid now. His kid sister's best friend. Nothing more. And that fear was what had her avoiding him like the plague. She'd been avoiding his house, which in the few short months since school had started had become her home as well. And Lydia was starting to ask questions.

Sweet Lydia. Brooke had never told her about the moment she'd interrupted that night because she wasn't sure how she would react to that. Would she freak out? Would she be happy? Brooke couldn't tell and because of that Lydia was starting to ask questions about why Brooke wouldn't come over to dinner or accept a ride from Jason when they wanted to go somewhere. She'd told Peyton though and every time they stood in a resting position Peyton would shoot Brooke questioning glances.

"Hey," Peyton gently bumps into Brooke to grab her attention and with a blush Brooke realizes that the game is over and the Ravens won.

"Thanks, I was..."

"Lost in thought about the fabulously gorgeous upper class man who's held every single one of your thoughts lately?"

"Shut up," Brooke snaps, "that's the last time I tell you anything."

"Of course it's not," Peyton laughs, and despite the fact that she's now facing Peyton Brooke can still feel Jason's eyes on her and Brooke knows that once the crowd has thinned some he'll make his way over.

"How are my favorite ladies?" Nathan Scott suddenly appears behind them wrapping an arm around both of their shoulders.

"What do you want Nathan?" Peyton questions, they'd both known Nathan for most of their lives. They for the most part ran in the same circles, and when Brooke's parents were around they spent time with Dan and Deb Scott.

"Just checking to make sure that you will be coming to the party I'm throwing at my parents beach house," Nathan responds as he leads them toward the doors that lead off toward the locker rooms."

"Nate...I dunno, your parties are known for getting waaay out of hand," Brooke shakes her head.

"Oh come on Brooke, stop being such a baby," Nathan teases, "my parties rock." Even as a freshman Nathan had already gained a reputation for throwing awesome parties at his parents beach house but Brooke had yet to venture to one of them.

"I'm not a baby," Brooke snaps, but the instant she says the words she realizes that it did come out babyish.

"Brooke," Brooke can't see Peyton's eyes but she knows the tone that's associated with the eyeroll.

"Fine, we'll go. But I promised I'd hang out with Lydia tonight so she's coming along."

"The more the merrier," Nathan pulls away from the girls, "I've got to hit the showers see you at the house."

"Come on," Peyton pulls on Brooke's arm, away from the entrance to the shower.

"Where are we going?" Brooke asks, "I've got to shower if we're going to Nathan's party."

"You can shower at my house," Peyton insists, "but we've got to find something better to wear then what we, particularly you, came in."

"A jeans and sweater?" Brooke protests, "what's wrong with that?"

* * *

"This shirt is way too low cut," Brooke shakes her head, backing away from Peyton's floor length mirror.

"Brooke Davis, you look hot," Peyton responds taking in her best friend, in a pair of tight dark blue jeans and a deep cut dark red sweater.

"I look like a tramp."

"You do not, stop being such a baby."

There was that word again. Her mind was settled, Jason obviously had to see her as a baby, if her friends thought she was it had to be true, right? "Fine can we just go? How are we getting there anyway?"

"You know Bevin?"

"The alternate, a total airhead?"

"That's the one, her sister's going to pick us up in about five minutes," Peyton informs as she digs through her make-up drawer, "here." With her words Peyton tosses Brooke a tube of red lipstick, "that'll be perfect." Before anything else can be exchanged a horn blares in the driveway, "come on."

* * *

"Nathan!" Brooke squeals two hours later, before launching herself at him, "you're party is soooo cool."

Nathan lifts an eyebrow at Peyton, "you got her drunk?"

"Got her drunk?" Peyton protests, "it's not like I was pouring alcohol down her throat."

"Peyton has had as much to drink as Brooke has," Lydia clues Nathan in before giving Brooke a wary look, "apparently Peyton holds her alcohol better."

Nathan gives Lydia an appraising look, "you must be Lydia."

Lydia nods, "that I am."

"Brooke's said..."

Brooke doesn't give Nathan any other chance to speak before she drags him off to dance, "come on Nate, dance with me."

"Has she ever had anything to drink before?" Lydia asks Peyton as she watches Brooke dance close to Nathan. Dancing in a way that when Brooke sobered up, and if she remembered, would place a deep crimson blush on Brooke's cheeks for hours.

Peyton laughs, "doubtful, very doubtful."

Lydia can't help but crack a smile, "this should be entertaining."

"Having fun baby sister?" Lydia jumps at the sound of Jason's voice from right behind her.

"Hey Jase," Lydia grins, "finally decided to stoop down and actually attend a Tree Hill party?"

"Ha ha," Jason rolls his eyes, "I thought you were here with Brooke?"

"She's dancing," Lydia offers a vague gesture as to the direction that Brooke had drug Nathan off into.

Jason scans the crowd and his gaze eventually falls on Nathan and Brooke, "is that her?"

"Yeah," Lydia laughs, painfully oblivious to his brother's feelings for her best friend, "she's a little...no a lot, drunk."

"Is she with Nathan Scott?"

"Oooh, cue in the jealous male," Peyton's voice turns mocking dark and ominous but is immediately followed by a very un-Peyton-like giggle.

Lydia laughs purely at the sound of Peyton's giggles but stops suddenly, "wait, what?"

Peyton doesn't bother to fill Lydia in before cupping her hands around her mouth and shouting, "hey! B. Davis, look who's here!"

"Jason!" Brooke laughs as she drags Nathan back toward the group. She stumbles as they walk up and clings to Nathan for support, "Nathan this is Jason." Brooke leans toward Nathan to whisper, audible to everyone, "Jason tried to kiss me at Thanksgiving."

"Oh my God!" Lydia exclaims, "oh my God!"

"That's nice Brooke," Nathan pats her arm gently as he attempts to detangle her from his arm, "maybe you shouldn't drink...ever again."

"Don't you think I'm more fun drunk Nate?" Brooke questions wrapping her arms around Nathan's neck and pressing her body close to his, her face inches from his.

"No," Nathan shakes his head pushing Brooke's arms away from his neck, "you need to go and sleep this off."

"I'll take her home," Jason offers, "Peyton too."

"Thanks, I'd go but..." Nathan doesn't bother to finish his sentence as Brooke's taken on a sickly looking expression. He hadn't been kidding when he'd told her that he didn't like her drunk, he'd known Brooke his entire life and even though they couldn't be more different he liked her a lot. Never in more then a friendly, brother/sister, way and just seeing her drunk was something he couldn't handle.

"Come on Brooke," Lydia quickly ushers Brooke toward a bathroom that is conveniently nearby and open. They don't emerge for quite sometime but when they do Brooke doesn't look much better but Lydia suggests, "we should go, before she passes out."

* * *

"Oh my God," Brooke moans, her head easily felt like it was going to split right in two directly between her eyes.

"It probably feels that way," Jason's voice comes from the doorway, startling Brooke but not enough to move, "and you drank enough to probably deserve that feeling."

"Thanks," Brooke mutters unable to muster the energy to question why he was in her house. He vaguely remembered him being at the party, and his offer to drive her home but that didn't explain what he was doing there the next morning.

"There's aspirin and water to your right and I'd recommend a shower. I'll be in the living room waiting for Lydia to wake up so we can go home."

* * *

By the time Brooke has showered and changed into a pair of old worn jeans and a baggy shirt she's feeling less like she's dying and more like she's just been hit by a semi. When she finally wanders into the living room Jason is sitting there flipping through the channels, "Lydia just woke up, she's going to go take a shower and then we'll leave."

"Are you mad at me?" Brooke ventures when she settles on the couch and Jason still hasn't managed a look at her.

"Mad at you because you've been avoiding me since Thanksgiving? Or because you drunkenly announced that I'd tried to kiss you?" Jason asks, his eyes still focused on the television.

"I've been avoiding you because I didn't want you to say that you thought kissing me was a mistake," Brooke confesses, taking a note out of Jason's book and focusing her eyes on whatever was on the TV.

"Brooke," Jason finally turns to face her and Brooke turns to look at him as well.

"Please don't say it Jason," Brooke shakes her head, "I didn't even think about how I felt about you until you almost kissed me. And now it's all that I can think about and if you're going to say that it was a mistake we almost made then just don't say anything at all."

The silence from Jason that follows Brooke's statement makes her heart sink and she's about to leave the room when Jason closes the distance between them. He gently covers her mouth with his, kissing her gently but with an underlying yearning that even Brooke can sense. And in all the times she'd wondered what her first kiss would be like she had never really imagined that it would be this...perfect...she'd always thought it would be slightly awkward but it's not. Jason has one hand gently cupping her face while the other rests gently on her waist and when they finally pull apart they're both breathless.

"Duckling," Jason is the first to speak as he gently brushes a strand of hair away from Brooke's eyes, "what are you doing to me? You're too young for me, and Lit's best friend but I can't get you out of my mind."

Brooke can't help but offer a small smile, "I'm sorry?"

"Hey Brooke," Lydia walks into the livingroom with a towel wrapped around her hair, "how hung-over are you?" She takes in the close proximity between the two, "what's going on?"

"Your brother kissed me," Brooke admits with a blush but accompanies it with a smile.

Lydia remains still for a minute and during that time Brooke and Jason think she's mad, but it doesn't last for very long. "Oh my god!" She exclaims bounding over to the two of them wrapping her arms around both, "that's just so great!" Once she's pull back from them she laughs, "it took you long enough."

"What?" It's Jason's turn to be curious.

"The entire family has been taking bets on how long it would take you two to get together. Mama was right, she said it would take the two of you much to long, hell I had my bets on Thanksgiving...and I guess I was sort of right! I'm going to go and dry my hair...and let you two...you know whatever." And with those words Lydia bounds out of the room.

Brooke laughs after her friend but then returns her attention to Jason, "so what now?"

"Will you go out with me? Sometime when you're not hung over?"

Brooke nods and offers a smile, "I'd love too, so long as you promise to remind me never to drink again."

Jason laughs before kissing her gently once more, "it's a deal."


	11. Chapter 11: Senior Year

**Chapter 11**

A.N. Okay, this authors note is for me to redirect your thinking. I know you guys are caught up in the Brucas/Brason debate (as am I, as am I) but I just want to let you guys know. This story isn't so much about Lucas or Jason, of course it focuses a great deal on the triangle I've built, but it's got a lot to do with who Brooke was freshman year, and who she is now and how these two people will eventually have to merge and become one Brooke. I've brought that into this chapter and it's going to be a theme that sticks around for awhile...that of course doesn't mean that I don't want to hear the Brucas/Brason debate, I love it tons but I just want you to keep this in mind! This chapter was on the shorter side, I know, and I'm sorry but I gave you Brucas so what more do you want? The next future chapter should be longer and look for the next chapter soon (I hope!).

* * *

Mid-April 2006

"Brooke?" Luke's questioning tone comes from the door way of her apartment but Brooke doesn't move from her position on the couch. In fact, she's not completely sure that she could move if she wanted to, she'd been crying for what must be hours as Jason's revelation keeps playing over and over in her head. From the way he'd just nodded sadly in response to her question to the way she'd collapsed into his arms while he comforted her. It should have been the other way around, she should have been comforting him but she just hadn't been able to pull herself together enough to do it.

Eventually though he'd driven her home in her car, and once she'd practically thrown him out of the apartment he'd called someone to come and get him. Fresh rounds of tears start whenever Brooke remembers how she's treated Althea in the last several years, and it's a process of getting herself worked up over and over again. "Hey Pretty Girl," Lucas greets when he notices her lump on the couch. But the instant he hears her sniffles her rushes to her side, "what's the matter?" Lucas was well aware that something was going on with Brooke and that something had happened at the bar the night before. And that he was the only in their little group who had no idea what was going on. He had been worried about Brooke before and now seeing her like t his just plain scared him.

"Lucas."

"Brooke," Lucas gathers her into his arms, "what's happened?"

"She's dying," Brooke finally manages.

"Who?" Lucas' heart jumps but he gently strokes Brooke's hair.

"Althea."

Lucas hides his relief that it's not someone he knows and just asks, "who's Althea?"

"Jason's mother," Brooke voice is shaking b ut she manages the words just the same.

"Jason, like your ex-boyfriend Jason?" Lucas is confused by this, "I don't understand."

Brooke shakes her head, "no, you couldn't." Lucas sighs, he can see the walls Brooke was rebuilding around herself growing daily, it was as if he was losing Brooke to a memory. "There are some things I left out when I told you about my relationship with Jason."

"I figured," Lucas nods but as much as he'd love to question her he knows that's only a sure fire way to make Brooke back away from the subject and put up her defenses even higher.

Brooke lets out a long shaky breath, "maybe it's time I told you everything." Brooke pulls out of Lucas' embrace and pulls her knees to her chest and wraps her arms protectively around. "Well you know the basics, I'm sure someone told you I was best friends with his sister and then we started dating."

"And he was your first love, first kiss and first time," Lucas quotes back the words that had been burned into his brain since she had said them the previous week. "And he just left."

"Yes," Brooke nods, "but...in May of Freshman year, I found out that I was pregnant. Not like our false alarm last year...really and truly pregnant."

"And that son of a bitch just left you pregnant?" Lucas' tone is dangerous sounding and his fists clench tightly together.

"No," Brooke shakes her head quickly, "he was actually really excited...after the initial shock wore off of course. His family too. They, like, adopted me into their family even before Jason and I started dating, they were supportive of everything...they were my family."

"So..." Lucas pauses for a second to collect his massively jumbled thoughts, attempting to put two and two together. And suddenly he recalls the baby carrier Jason had held when he'd walked into the café that first afternoon, "the baby he had..."

"No, no," Brooke shakes her head quickly before taking a deep breath. "There was a car accident." Never before had Brooke said the words out loud and soberand in a strange way it was a painful relief to finally say them. "We got out of the hospital and Jason left, end of story."

"Brooke," Lucas reaches toward her and gently brushes the tears off of her cheeks with his thumb.

"I've never told anyone that before, ever."

"Oh baby," Lucas pulls Brooke into a tight embrace as she cries and they lay on the couch like that long after Brooke's stopped crying and her breathing has calmed considerably. Lucas assumes that she's fallen asleep bu now and when enough time has passed Lucas attempts to detangle himself to get up and let everyone know they wouldn't make it to the café.

"Don't leave me," comes Brooke's silent plea at the first sign of movement.

"No," Lucas gently rubs Brooke's back, "I'm not going anywhere." Lucas honestly doesn't know what to think or say, it's all just too much to take in at one time. How had she kept such a secret for so long? He'd seen Brooke in pain before - most of which he'd caused, but nothing could be compared to the Brooke that he held in his arms right now. He wanted to help her, he just couldn't even begin to know where to start.

Long after it's gotten dark outside Lucas tucks Brooke into bed, his muscles are stiff from laying in one place for so many hours and he's just stretching his back when the doorbell rings. His best guess is that it's Nathan or Haley on their way home from the café and wondering where they had been and why they hadn't been answering their phones. But he's definitely not prepared for Jason to be standing on the other side of the threshold and it's obvious that he hadn't been expecting Lucas either.

"Uh, hey, I'm Jason," Jason shifts uncomfortably.

"I know, I'm Lucas," Lucas isn't sure that he can handle seeing Jason right now, not after having seen Brooke like that. Not after hearing Brooke's pained words.

"I just came to see how she was doing," Jason states, "the news about my mom really shook her."

The need to hit the guy lessens at his words and Lucas can't help but feel sorry for the guy, but that definitely doesn't take away his anger at the man who'd left Brooke in so much pain. "Yeah, sorry to hear about that."

"How is she?" The oddity of this conversation doesn't escape the notice of either of them. Although Jason admittedly had the upper hand, Natasha kept the family well informed about Brooke and her actions while Lucas had been oblivious to Jason's existence up until a couple weeks ago. But in the end both were in love with two very different pieces of the same girl.

"She's sleeping."

"Good."

"What's going on guys?" Haley asks as she and Nathan appear behind Jason.

"I came to check on Brooke," Jason turns, relieved from anymore conversation with Lucas. "Hey Nathan."

"It's good to see you Jason," Nathan exchanges handshakes with Jason before Nathan introduces Haley. "I know you guys met last night, but there were no real introductions. This is my wife, Haley."

"Wife?" Jason's eyebrows shoot up, "I never pegged you to be the marrying type, especially not in high school."

Nathan laughs, "for ever a year now."

"Well, congratulations," Jason debates for a second if he should as the question that a high school marriage raises.

But Haley steps in before he can even make up his mind, "there's no baby. I mean, I wasn't pregnant, that's not why we got married." Haley laughs nervously, "but, you have baby, right?"

Jason nods, "Chloe, she's six months and has yet to sleep through the night, but other then that she's a great baby." Jason glances at his watch, "I should actually get back to her. It's time for her bed and she's a hellion at bedtime."

"Everything okay?" Nathan asks once Jason has gone.

Lucas runs a hand through his hair, "it's just been a long day. Brooke's really upset...I guess Jason's mom is dying, I didn't get the whole story..." He shrugs, he hasn't processed it enough to talk about it.

"We'll get out of your hair," Haley picks up on her oldest friend's mood and steps in to hug him, "call us if you need anything."

Lucas holds her tight for a moment before releasing her, "thanks." Once he's closed the door after them he heads back to Brooke's room and crawling into bed with her he wraps his arms protectively around her whispering, "let me take care of you," into her hair before he eventually drifts off to sleep as well.


	12. Chapter 12: Freshman Year

**Chapter 12**

A.N. Firstly, thank you so much for the reviews, I live off of them and it really does help me to see what you guys like and what you don't. I hear all of you Brucas lovers out there, lol. Keep the reviews coming because a lot of times I do read your reviews and adjust certain plotlines...Secondly, sorry for the way, I got stuck on this chapter. Super stuck. I'd sit down to write it and nothing would come to me, it was gonna go one way and then I nixed it had to start back at one (a process that took me way too long) but the next chapter shouldn't take so long because I have most of the senior year written in my head while freshman years end is really all I have written and I'm having a hell of a time getting there. So this chapter I have to mention Maggie, I was gonna blame her for the lack of updates, but obviously that's not totally true...but she blamed in her last chapter so let's just blame her and call it a day shall we...nah really Maggie was the one who actually got me to update...now if she'd only update hers, speaking of hers you guys should check it out. It's called "Whenever You Remember"_ and I love it, it's Brucas and Naley so go read! Also, I obviously don't own the quote from_ Snow Falling on Cedars_, it may seem a little random slipped in there but mostly I love the quote and it applies so well to how Jason feels! Well, after you read and review mine of course...okay I'm seriously done with the authors note this time...read on!

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Freshman Year - Late February 2003_

"Whenever You Remember" Snow Falling on Cedars"Whenever You Remember" Snow Falling on Cedars 

"What _are _you working on?" Brooke asks wandering into the living room still clad in her pajamas, on a Saturday morning. Jason had called her Friday night and asked her if he could use her house to get some papers out of the way seeing as his house wasn't an option because his brother, Damien, was getting married in a month and the Theophilus house was in an insane amount of chaos.

"I'm actually working on my application for that prep school I was telling you about," Jason mutters without even looking up, completely missing the crestfallen look on Brooke's face. That prep school had become the bane of her existence, he told her about it over three weeks ago and he'd been so excited that she'd hadn't had the heart to remind him that it was in Chicago, and Chicago was a long way away from Tree Hill, and if he went next year he'd be leaving her alone.

"Oh," Brooke moves to sit next to him on the couch, "what is the essay on?"

"Actually," Jason sets down his pen and looks up at Brooke, she was providing a welcome distraction at the perfect time for a break. "We're supposed to take a quote from a piece of literature we've read this year in high school and apply it to our lives."

"That sounds fun," Brooke smiles, "what quote are you using?"

"Actually it's from _Snow Falling on Cedars_," Jason states, "would you like to hear it?"

"Of course," Brooke laughs, "I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't want to know."

Jason picks up his book and quickly skims through it toward the back of the book and when he finally stops he clears his throat, "_Islanders were required, by the very nature of their landscape, to watch their step moment by moment. No one trod easily upon the emotions of another where the sea licked everywhere against endless shoreline. And this was excellent and poor at the same time - excellent because it meant most people took care, poor because it meant an inbreeding of the spirit, to much held in, regret and silent brooding, a world whose inhabitants walked in trepidation in fear of opening up. Considered and considerate, formal at every turn, they were shut out and shut off from the deep interplay of their minds. They could not speak freely because they were cornered, everywhere they turned there was water and more water, a limitless expanse of it in which to drown. They held their breath and walked with care, and this made them who they were on the inside, constricted and small, good neighbors."_

"Do you really hate it here that much?" Brooke questions softly once he's finished reading the quote to her.

"I don't hate it here," Jason responds, "not so much as I just want to get out and see what lies outside of Tree Hill."

"Away from me," Brooke sighs, glancing away so that he can't see the tears that have sprung up in her eyes. They'd only been dating a month and Brooke didn't want to become one of those clingy girlfriends that she and Peyton used to laugh about all the time, but everyday it felt like she was becoming more and more like those girls. She and Jason had just gotten together and he was getting ready to leave, and Brooke didn't want to get hurt.

"Brooke," Jason's voice softens as he finally realizes what must be going through her head, hell he had four younger sisters he should have known exactly what she was thinking when he mentioned the school.

"No," Brooke shakes her head, "I'm just being stupid, that prep school is an amazing school. Lydia showed me the brochure and stuff and when you get accepted I know you'll do great things there...I just...I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too," Jason responds pulling Brooke to him into a tight hug, "but I'll be back for all of the holidays. Plus they run on a year round schedule so I'll be home a lot more throughout the year then just Christmas and Easter."

"Yeah," Brooke mumbles, "I dunno, I guess I'm just afraid that you'll go and meet all these other fantastic girls and forget about me. I know I sound stupid and jealous..."

"Hey," Jason pulls away from her, his eyes locking onto hers, "I couldn't forget about you. You're Brooke Davis, you're not exactly forgettable."

"They'll be older there, and not some dorky freshman girl with no experience," Brooke blushes as she says the words, it had been two weeks since they'd had _the _conversation. One that ended up with the revelation that Jason had been Brooke's first kiss while Jason had been 'all the way' with a girl the summer before his freshman year. Brooke tried not to think about it but it was a thought that she'd found impossible to keep out of her brain for very long, and it had the nasty habit of popping up, and taking over all of her thoughts, whenever she least expected it to.

"Hey," Jason plays with a strand of Brooke's hair as his dark eyes lock onto hers, "I told you I'd wait for you Brooke. I'm not going to push you into something you're not ready for, I told you that. That's not going to change."

"My head knows that," Brooke states with a small embarrassed smile, "it's the rest of me that has a hard time not getting worried. I just...I dunno...I care about you a lot Jason and I don't want to ruin this because I want to take things slow."

"God Brooke," Jason snaps, and it's a tone that he's never used on Brooke before, it's annoyed and frustrated and consequently a tone that he uses with his sisters often, "give me more credit then that. I'm not going to just jump into some other girl's bed because my girlfriend isn't ready to have sex yet."

"I know!" Brooke regrets the tone the instant it's out of her mouth, she's more then well aware that she sounds like a petulant child, almost reinforcing her own fear that she was to young for him.

"You know what," Jason stands, "I think we need to just cool off for right now before this turns into a stupid fight." He begins to collect his books that have been spread out across the coffee table, "I wasn't worried about the fact that you're only a freshman Brooke, but obviously you are. I want to be with you but I think you need to figure out what's going on in your head right now."

"Jason..." Brooke's protest dies on her lips, what could she really say? He was right of course, she was worried that her being a freshman was going to cause problems between them down the road, hell it had already started causing problems with them.

"Brooke," Jason places a gentle kiss on her forehead, "I'm not worried, you shouldn't be either. But I want you to be sure, so until then I think we should stop seeing each other."

Brooke nods holding back the tears that are already threatening to spill onto her cheeks, "okay." It's not until she hears her front door close after Jason until she lets the tears spill onto her cheeks.

* * *

"Maybe he'll be at the game tonight," Peyton suggests as she and Brooke head toward the basketball court for a home game the next Friday.

"I doubt it, he hasn't spoken to me all week," Brooke sighs, "I screwed things up P. Sawyer. I was so worried that he was worried about me being a freshman and he wasn't and I ruined it all..."

"Please tell me that your not blaming yourself for my brother being an idiot," Lydia appears next to Brooke linking her arm through her own.

"He wasn't the idiot," Brooke sighs, "I was."

"You both were," Lydia half-agrees with a shrug, "you made a big deal about something that wasn't a big deal and he decided he didn't want to talk about it and walked away. You're both idiots."

"Lydia," Brooke half gasps and half laughs at her friends words, Peyton had taken a the positive thinking route, which had sounded strange from the normally broody Peyton anyway.

"It's true, isn't it Peyton?" Lydia asks leaning forward to peek at Peyton on the other side of Brooke.

"Yeah," Peyton nods with a laugh, "but I'm sure they can work it out."

"Or you know, not," Brooke stops just inside the doors, her eyes have immediately sought out the area of the bleachers that Jason had taken up residence in since they had started dating, and sitting next to him was a gorgeous redhead who's obviously just said something funny because Jason laughs briefly.

"That's Peyton," Lydia states.

"What?" Peyton asks confused.

"Jason's ex-girlfriend Peyton," Brooke lets out a low sigh, "I told you. He realized that he was an idiot for dating a freshman and got back together."

"Stop being such a drama queen Duckling," Lydia rolls her eyes, "she's back in Tree Hill visiting for the weekend."

"Whatever."

"Whatever," Lydia mocks with her trademark eye roll, if there were only two things about Lydia that Brooke would ever remember it would be that very eye roll and the bright smile that she often flashed following said eye roll.

"We have to cheer now," Brooke grabs Peyton's hand and leads her to the area on the court where the rest of the squad has already gathered, a spot that leads her directly past Jason. As they walk past Brooke's eyes remain downcast despite the fact that she can feel Jason's eyes on her. The last week had been hell, since September Jason had been a part of her daily life and in the last month alone he'd been so ingrained into everything she did that going a week without taking to him at all had just been strange and unfamiliar. She hadn't felt this miserable since that first Friday of school, when Lydia had found her crying in the hallways and paretically changed her entire life.

"You're an idiot," Lydia tells Jason when she climbs the bleachers to sit on the other side of Jason moments later.

"Lydia could we just not get into this right now?" Jason asks moving his eyes away from Brooke and onto his little sister.

"Um," Lydia pretends to think for a second, "no. She thinks your avoiding her."

"What's going on?" Peyton's voice is tinged with a southern accent that came from years of living in rural Georgia.

"That," Lydia points to Brooke, who's listening to whatever it is Morgan is dictating to them with emphatic gestures, "is Jason's girlfriend and my best friend."

"She looks young," Peyton comments.

"She's a freshman," Jason states simply.

"A freshman," Peyton laughs, "you're dating a freshman?"

"What the hell?" Jason snaps, "she's two years younger then me what's the matter with that and why does everyone feel the need to make it such a big deal?"

Peyton lifts an eyebrow, "touchy subject I assume?"

"I just don't understand what her problem is," Jason says, it's obvious to him now that his sister and ex-girlfriend aren't just going to let the subject go.

"She's scared," Lydia states, "have you met Brooke? You know the girl who thinks that a slightly low cut red shirt is to risque? The same girl who blushed at the slightest inappropriate comment for the first, like month or two we knew her?"

"I still don't understand what she's scared of," Jason insists, "I already told her I'd wait..."

"Oh my god!" Lydia exclaims smacking Jason hard in the stomach, "she's my best friend and you better not finish that sentence or I swear to god I'll kill you."

Lydia's exclamation has drawn the attention of the people sitting around them and they are plenty close enough for the cheerleaders up front to hear them even over Morgan's rant about sticking some landing or the other at the halftime show. But mostly close enough for Brooke to hear the exchange and to rush off of the basketball court, bright red and mortified and into the cool late winter air. Jason wastes no time in following after her but she's already halfway across the school parking lot before he even has a chance to catch up with her.

"Hey," Jason grabs her arm to turn her around to face him and he's made immediately aware that she's crying.

"I'm scared that you're going to go away like my parents," Brooke blurts out and she almost looks shocked to hear herself say the words.

"What?" Jason's shocked by this revelation, Brooke very rarely talked about her emotions when it came to her parents. Sure she talked about them, but it was generally in very off handed terms and with very little feeling involved.

"They're gone," Brooke states wiping at the tears on her cheeks, "thirty weeks out of the years and when they're gone they don't even call. I'm just this person that lives in their house and they acknowledge when they have to see me, but when they're gone they completely forget about me."

"Brooke..." Jason's not sure what to say to this, he can't make promises that they'll be able to survive a long distance relationship, he knows enough to know not to promise her forever.

"I'm tired of being forgotten Jason," Brooke states, she's calmed herself down enough to stop the tears but there's still pain evident in her voice, "and for the first time in my life I feel like I have a real family. You're family is so amazing Jason, and I've never experienced this before and I don't want to lose that...and I don't want to lose you..."

"My family isn't going anywhere."

"But what if we break up?" Brooke asks, "what if it gets weird for me to go over there."

"Brooke," Jason can't figure out what is really bothering her, she's so all over the place that he can hardly understand what point she's trying to make, "what are you really so afraid of?"

Brooke swallows hard, "I'm afraid of losing you."

Jason takes a step closer to her and gently cups her face, "I can't promise that we'll be together forever Brooke. And I can't promise that one of us won't break the other's heart because let's face it that's how most high school relationships are. But I am sure that I won't forget about you Brooke Davis."

"How do you know that?"

"Because Brooke, you're amazing and you don't even see it," Jason gently brushes his thumb across her cheek. "I chose to be with you Brooke, I knew what I was getting into when I asked you out. And if you're really worried about me being older then you then we can talk about that but if you're just searching for something to put distance between us because your scared, well, we can talk about that too. But you have to figure out what you're scared of, I can't figure that out for you."

Brooke shrugs, "I guess it's a little of everything."

"Okay," Jason nods, "we can work with that."

"I probably sound like an idiot," Brooke sighs looking at the ground and kicking at a stone with her tennis shoe clad foot.

"According to Lydia we're both idiots," Jason smirks at her, gently lifting her chin to face him though he states, "but I don't think you're an idiot. I've never been good at relationships Brooke, when things get hard I walk away. That's what happened with me an Pey, things got complicated and the both of us walked away and we managed to stay just friends. But I don't want to be just friends with you Brooke, I tried that it didn't work. So maybe..." Jason looks like he's waging an internal war with himself but finally one side wins out when he states, "so maybe we're both a little afraid of getting in over our heads."

Brooke offers a soft smile, "we'll take things slow."


	13. Chapter 13: Senior Year

**Chapter 13**

End of April 2006

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**A.N. Well first of all I've got to thank Jess, Mariah and Michelle for reading this and checking it over. Especially Mariah who beta'd all of it first before the other two even got it and had to deal with, well my pre-beta'd work. But thanks to Jess who gave me loads of advice and Michelle for letting me bounce things off of her and just being an overall support. And then there's Maggie and Sam who just...well hugs! Hmm, I feel like I'm giving an annoying acceptance speech for an award...so here's the chapter and I'll shut up now!

* * *

**

"Why don't I have anything to wear?"

Brooke let out a moan as she threw another unwanted outfit on her bed. She had been agonizing over what to wear for two days now and the chaos of the her room was more then enough proof of that. Most of the contents of her closet had been flung over her shoulder to land in a pile on the floor or the bed. The huge mound of clothes had been nixed because they were either too trashy or they looked like she was trying too hard. She'd made her decision to go see Althea on Wednesday but it was only now, Saturday, that the opportunity had presented itself. Lucas had offered to take her and surprisingly Brooke had taken him up on the offer. She'd been afraid that by telling him everything there would be some sort of distance between the two of them, but he had been so supportive throughout the week that Brooke couldn't imagine how she would have survived without him.

"I let myself in," Peyton appeared in the doorway of Brooke's bedroom, "I figured you could hear me knocking, but I didn't realize Hurricane Brooke was loose in your bedroom. What's going on?"

"I'm going to see Althea," Brooke stated unable to meet her best friends gaze, because even though now the truth was out to the whole group and things were fine with Lucas, things were less then stellar between Brooke and Peyton.

Brooke knew Peyton was slightly hurt that she'd kept all of this from her for so long and while they'd been friendly toward each other there hadn't been any normal behavior between the two.

"Oh," the blonde nodded before plopping onto Brooke's bed pulling one of her knees underneath her as she watched her best friend continue to rummage through her closet full of clothing, "so...," Peyton had intended on waiting and letting Brooke come to her about everything, Lucas had filled the group in on everything via Brooke's request, but Peyton wanted to hear it all from her sober best friend.

"You're mad that I didn't tell you about everything with me and Jason," Brooke paused in her hunt for something to wear, a red top still clutched in her hand as she faced Peyton, something she hadn't done in so long.

"Not mad," Peyton shook her head, "just upset that you didn't think you could come to me about that. You were hurting so much and I just wanted to help you in anyway that I could, but I didn't know how to go about helping when you didn't ask so I let it drop. I shouldn't have let it drop, what kind of friend was I?"

Brooke's became sullen, "P. Sawyer, you can't blame yourself for not pushing me into talking. We were fifteen, neither of us was prepared to council me on how much pain I was in..."

"I just wish I'd known..."

"Awww P. Sawyer," Brooke wrapped an arm around Peyton's shoulder, "I love you for wanting to help but it was something I had to go through on my own."

"Brooke, no," Peyton shook her head, "that is not something you just go through alone. It's something you should have someone to talk to about, to get out how you're feeling about it, it doesn't just go away."

Brooke frowned at Peyton's words, they were so true but she was only just starting to realize it. She'd kept them down for so long that she just figured they weren't really there anymore. She'd attributed the pain lately to the fact that Jason was back and she'd never really dealt with the feeling but Brooke realized with a jolt that she never dealt with the loss of her baby either. She strived so long and hard to be okay with it that she fooled herself into believing that everything was okay right along with everybody else. But she didn't have time to deal with all of this, there were more current fears to deal with and Althea made the top of her list.

"I get that you want to help," Brooke turned back toward her closet surveying what was left of her clothing but instead her gaze landed on a picture friend of her and Peyton from years ago, "but right now I have other things to worry about; Althea and prom." She couldn't stop her gaze from lingering on the picture, she'd found it two days before it was from their middle school promotion and both of them had just been so untouched. They'd thought their life was so hard back then but what Brooke wouldn't give to go back to that moment.

"Brooke you can't just shut it out," Peyton objected as she played with the fringe on one of Brooke's pillows. She' felt positive that that remark alone would induce an explosion from her best friend but she was determined to get her point across to her. Three years ago she had let it go, she let her friend remain in pain until she got so good at pushing it away that she didn't think about it, but Peyton wasn't going to make that mistake again.

"I'm not shutting it out," Brooke lied, "I'm trying to deal with one thing at a time."

"You are too, the way you look when you think no one is watching," Peyton stammered, "is the same way you looked when school started back Sophomore year."

"And what exactly is that?" Brooke's voice fringed on annoyance, she knew Peyton was expecting some sort of passionate response but she just didn't have the energy to muster up the feeling. She was just tired. Tired of fighting and crying and every other mix of emotion she felt the last couple of weeks. She just wanted everything to stop. She wanted to rewind to that day at Karen's before Jason had walked in and thrown her entire world into shambles, everything had been perfect.

We're all happy. That's what she had said that day and it had been totally true and within minutes all of it had fallen apart, no differently then it had the day of the accident. One minute she, Lydia, and Jason were joking around about the latest Theophilus family shenanigans and the next the bottom had fallen out of Brooke's little world. Nothing had ever been the same again and with a slight shiver Brooke realized that nothing was ever going to be the same again. It was an ominous feeling and she couldn't put her finger on what exactly it was that was causing the feeling, but she knew that everything was going to change again and she wasn't sure she'd be able to handle it.

"Hey," Peyton slipped an arm around Brooke's shoulders causing her to jump. She had been so lost in her thoughts that she'd completely forgotten that Peyton was in the room much less taken notice of the fact that she'd moved toward her.

Once Brooke had calmed her pounding heart a bit she let her head on Peyton's shoulder, "I'm scared P. Sawyer."

"Of what?"

"Of not being okay," she sighed, "I just want to be the girl who smiles because she's strong enough to deal with everything that's going wrong in her life. Not the one who smiles because she doesn't want everyone to see how much pain she's in."

"Brooke you don't have to be perfect," Peyton insisted, "you're allowed to show more emotion on the outside then just anger. Sadness is natural Brooke, no one would think you were weak because all of the hard things in our life have caused you pain...you're only human..."

"I have to get ready to go," Brooke quickly pulled out of her best friend's embrace making her way back to the closet, "Lucas is going to be here to pick me up in fifteen minutes and I'm not nearly ready."

"So that's it, end of conversation?" Peyton demanded, her hands latching onto her hips. Brooke could see the mother-hen stance from the mirror located in her closet, "you don't want to talk about it so we just don't talk about it, end of story?"

"Damn right," Brooke snapped in return pulling a dark blue tank out of the closet and avoiding any form of eye contact with Peyton.

"Now that's a tone I know and love," Lucas teased upon entering the bedroom but at the harsh glance that he received from Peyton he questioned his remark, "what?"

"Nothing," Peyton let out a frustrated sigh, "sounds just like good ol' Brooke is back in action." How could he not see that she was faking it? Faking her hard outer shell so that she wouldn't have to talk about what was really going on? From the start Peyton realized that for years she'd made that mistake, and the knowledge that she knew so little about her best friend made Peyton physically sick. "I have to go."

"Did I interrupt something?" Lucas questioned once the front door slammed behind Peyton.

"Nothing that didn't need to be interrupted Broody," Brooke assured him with a kiss, "but you're early."

"I wanted to make sure you were ready for this," Lucas wrapped his arms around Brooke's waist, "with going today."

"I'm nervous," she shrugged, "that's to be expected, but thanks for coming with me today. I dunno if I could go in there alone, I'd probably get there and turn around and run. Don't let me run now, okay? No matter what I say to you when we get there."

"I promise," Lucas assured kissing Brooke lightly on the forehead, "are you ready?"

* * *

"How do I look?" Brooke questioned as they both slipped out of her car in front of the Theophilus. It hadn't escaped her notice that there was a hell of a lot more cars parked in the front of the house then there was the last time she was there and it was just Jason home and that sure as hell wasn't helping her nerves either.

"You look amazing," Lucas stated captivated in her deep blue halter top and denim mini appreciatively. Taking Brooke's hand into his own Lucas gave it a gentle squeeze, "come on Pretty Girl, we called to tell them that you were coming over. You can't back out now, Althea's expecting you."

"I didn't expect so many people to be here," Brooke confessed but she allowed Lucas to lead the way to the front door. She followed this comment up with a roll of her eyes, "of course they're all here, it's Saturday."

"Saturday?"

"Theophilus family tradition, the family has to be there for dinner Saturday night, they don't have to stay but they do have to eat," Brooke moaned, "what have I gotten myself into?"

"Brookling!" The door threw open to a little girl and Brooke grip onto Lucas' hand tightened, despite the fact that the girl was much older. There's no doubt in her mind that this was Ella, the two-year-old that had first stolen her heart over Thanksgiving years ago.

The girl shocked Brooke by wrapping her arms around her and even more shocked when she bends down to wrap her arms around the little girl with her dark hair cut into a short bob, "Ella?"

"Yup!" The girl gave a toothless grin, "and you're Brooke...I used to call you Brookling."

"How can you remember that?" Brooke asked staring in awe at the little girl and her far from bashful personality that seemed to be a trait that ran in all Theophilus'.

"I don't really," Ella stated, "but we have pictures of you in my brother's baby books and it says in there that I used to call you Brookling...and there's a lot of you in my two-year-old book too and Mommy tells me a lot about you sometimes."

"Els, let her through the door," a laughing voice called out from just to the right of Brooke's line of vision but as Brooke straightens she comes in sight of Daphne.

Within seconds Brooke was caught up in hugs and greetings and it didn't take her long to realize that all but one family member was present in the greeting; even Jason hung out toward the fringe watching everything carefully. But despite the fact that she was worried and guilt ridden about Althea, and nervous about having to converse with most of the Theophilus' for just a moment, Brooke felt the loss of the one person not present. She wasn't sure if there had been a moment in the two years where she missed Lydia as distinctly as she did right now, because she should have been there telling everyone to back off because Brooke was _her_best friend and she didn't want to share. But she was not there and when Brooke's eyes flashed briefly to Jason she could tell that in that moment he was missing the past too.

With a swift shake of her head Brooke spoke up, "um, this is my boyfriend Lucas, Lucas this is...everyone," she laughed. There was no use to out right introducing him to everyone because she could still remember how overwhelmed she'd felt when first introduced to the entire Theophilus clan, and that had been before seven more children had been introduced to the family.

"We have the UNC/Duke game on in the living room," Thadeus Theophilus, the Theophilus family patriarch and gentle father of nine, told Lucas, "you're welcome to join us while Brooke and everyone catch up."

Lucas shot Brooke a look asking her what she wanted to do. Brooke forced a laugh as she pushed him away, "go watch your game Broody." But more then anything she wanted him to stick close, with him close she knew that the conversation wouldn't get too deep and she'd be saved from any form of an emotional conversation.

"You and Lucas will be staying for dinner won't you Duckling?" Althea asked once the guys made their way toward the living room and their game, taking the older children with them.

"Oh, I dunno," Brooke chewed on the inside of her lip surveying Althea. She didn't want to stay but she promised herself that she was going to make up for not speaking to Althea for years. Wasn't that the best way to start? "Sure, we'll stay for dinner."

"Wonderful," Althea smiled brightly and Brooke realized that just by looking at her there wasn't an outward indication showing Althea suffered a terminal illness. But upon further inspection Brooke saw things that she missed when she had met Althea a little over a week ago. She looked tired and there was pain written in her dark eyes.

"We're having Dolmades, Sagnaki, and Chicken Souvlaki and Baklava for dessert, and you're just in time to help."

* * *

"No!" The loud exclamation sounded through the living room as UNC lost possession of the ball and within seconds Duke had turned around the scores just in time to break the tie before half-time. But as that noise died down in the living room Brooke's shrieks could be heard from the kitchen and one of Jason's brothers. Lucas wasn't sure which one let out a chuckle before stating, "sagnaki." And if Lucas hadn't fallen out of the loop before he did when a majority of the others sitting around him laughed as well.

"What's sagnaki?"

"Come on," Jason stood up from his place on the couch, handing the baby in his lap off to his father, "I'll show you."

The nearer they got to the kitchen the more obvious it was that Brooke's screeching turned to words.

"I can't! No way! Althea! I almost burnt your kitchen down the last time!" Are pretty much the gist of the words that caused both of the guys to laugh softly as they crept toward the kitchen.

"Duckling," Althea had her hands on her hips and her back turned to the both of them as they stood in the shadows of the hallway just outside the kitchen, but both were fully able to see both Brooke and Althea standing over the kitchen stove. "You are going to do this, and you're not going to burn down the house."

"No, I'm not," Lucas recognized Brooke's no nonsense voice, the one that was a more than fair warning to drop the subject before incurring the wrath of Brooke Penelope Davis.

"Brooke Davis," Lucas recognized Althea's tone as one that almost identically matches Brooke's, "just pour the Brandy on the cheese already."

"Fine," Brooke grudgingly accepted the small glass bowl containing what Lucas assumed to be Brandy and quickly poured it over a lump of white cheese in a smoking skillet. The action caused flames to rise quickly and Brooke to let out a half-screech half-laugh as she quickly handed another small glass that Brooke immediately poured over the flames and within seconds they disappeared.

"See the house is still standing," Althea gently patted Brooke's arm before handing her a knife, "now here you can chop lettuce, it's nice and calm."

Lucas smiled as he watched Brooke take the knife from Althea. he didn't linger long, he wanted to give Brooke a chance to right whatever wrongs she felt she had to make right.

"So what was that all about?" Lucas questioned Jason as they made their way back down the hallway toward the living room.

"Duckling, Brooke," Jason amended with a shake of his head, "the first time she helped my family cook an authentic Greek meal she set my mother's kitchen curtains on fire making the Sagnaki but without fail every time Mama makes it with Brooke here she makes Brooke do it. But Brooke has yet to get over her fear and Mama has yet to give up on Brooke..."

"You're family is amazing to her," Lucas stated in a hushed tone just outside of the living room.

"My family loves Brooke, they always have," Jason said with a shrug.

"She was nervous about coming here but you wouldn't have known it from the instant she walked in the door."

"She's always been comfortable..."

"Dinner!" Brooke came laughing out of the kitchen, and Lucas couldn't help but notice that her entire face was lit up. "Oh, hey guys, dinner's ready, will you tell the rest of the family?"

"What's so funny?" Jason questioned.

"No-thing," Brooke sing-songed with a laugh before darting back into the kitchen.

Lucas followed her retreating form with his eyes. He can't brush away the realization that he had never, ever, seen Brooke like this. _Nathan said she radiated with happiness, his words not mine._ That's what Haley had said during a conversation about what Brooke must have been like freshman year, was this how Nathan meant? Lucas couldn't completely understand all of this; he hadn't been expecting any of this. He'd expected Brooke to be emotionless or cold and then they'd leave.

"Come on Broody," Brooke appeared again grabbing his hand as the rest of the family made their way to the dining room where the table had been pulled out to it's longest length with twenty chairs and several high chairs squeezed around and more unrecognizable food then Lucas had ever seen. Within minutes everyone was sitting around the table and Thadeus said a prayer over the food and the noise level had escalated as everyone tried to carry on different conversations. Lucas was beginning to understand why Brooke loved this family so much.

He was having a conversation with Alex about the basketball game that had been on when the table quickly fell silent. He followed everyone else's gaze to a petite girl that looked similar to the rest of the Theophilus women.

"Lydia."


	14. Chapter 14: Freshman Year

Chapter 14

Freshman Year - Early March 2003

**A.N. So this chapter took much longer then expected, it was supposed to be done Sunday but someone coughEllebellecough distracted me for two hours picking out baby names. But thanks just the same to her for making me realize that the first copy of this was crap and thanks to Supermags for beta-ing for me...Expect lots of updates next week cause I'm spending the next four days on Wrightsville beach where better to write then where OTH is set?**

* * *

"But I thought you and Daddy were coming home tomorrow." Brooke sighed a she flopped onto her bed, a pout creased across her features and the phone pressed to her ear. She nervously played with a strand of hair while she listened to her mother go on and on about some event that they just couldn't miss.

"I mean really Brookie, it's not logical for us to fly back just to turn around and leave again." Juliet Davis said as she defended her choice to her daughter.

"You're right." Brooke replied, "It's just that I wanted you to meet my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend? My Brookie has a boyfriend? It's that Scott boy isn't it? We saw Deb last week and she said that you and Nathan had been hanging out. That's so great Brookie, Nathan's such a good boy. If I'd known he was the type of boy..." her mother droned on. Juliet Davis had the distinct ability of being able to go on and on over any person's protests to what she was saying, and her daughter was no exception.

"Mom!" Brooke let out a frustrated snap finally catching her mother's attention, "I'm not dating Nathan Scott."

"Well, then who are you dating?" Her mother asked, as the disappointment easily rang through the phone line. Deb Scott and Juliet Davis had been close friends when Nathan and Brooke were younger and Brooke knew that they both would have loved for their children to be together.

"Jason..."

"Jason Westfield? Oh Brookie, I can't believe it," Juliet shrieked as the disappointed tone turned into a squeal of joy. "You know I nearly married his father. Do you know they have estates in Cabo, Australia, Southern France, Newport, Madrid and a penthouse apartment in New York City?"

"No Mom, I didn't know that," Brooke rolled her eyes. "And it's Jason Theophilus, not Westfield."

"Theophilus, Theophilus, hmmm."

Brooke could imagine her mother tapping her perfectly manicured finger against her red lips in thought. "Which country club are they members of?"

"They, um, aren't," Brooke frowned. Why hadn't she considered the fact that that would be the first question her mother would ask. The only thing that mattered to her mother was status and wealth, everything else just paled in comparison.

"They aren't members of a country club?" Juliet asked, the shock in her voice blatantly obvious.

"Brooke I'm not sure I approve of you dating someone who's parents I don't know."

"Don't you mean someone who's parents don't belong to your country club?" Brooke mumbled, half hoping that her mother was paying enough attention to actually catch her words.

"Brooke, we'll talk about this later," Juliet stated with a sigh which was an indicator of her annoyance. "Your father and I have to be at a party in two hours and I have a nail appointment."

As soon as her mother was off the phone Brooke slammed it back into the cradle. Did she ask too much by wanting her parents to pay just a little bit of attention to her? For years Brooke had dismissed her parent's actions as typical, all of her friends' parents traveled constantly too. It wasn't until she'd met the Theophilus family, that she had realized that her life didn't have to be the way it was.

With that thought in her head, Brooke quickly picked her phone back up and quickly dialed the familiar number.

"Hello," Lydia answered as she picked the phone up on its second ring.

"Lyd!" Brooke greeted, forcing a cheerful tone. "It sounds crazy over there."

"Yeah, Alec has some friends over. What's the matter?"

"Who said anything is wrong?" Brooke questioned. "I just called to talk."

"Yeah right," Lydia replied, and Brooke could practically see her rolling her eyes. "You're a really crappy liar. So what's the matter?"

Brooke sighed, she hated more than anything Lydia's ability to pick up on her every tone. "I just got off the phone with my parents."

"Movie night." Lydia declared, she didn't even need to hear what Brooke had to say. She just knew that a phone call with Brooke's parents included something else that Brooke didn't want to hear from them. "At your house though, cause we have tons of guys from school here and that doesn't make for a good chick flick night. I'll have someone drop me of in ten minutes, get that popcorn popping."

* * *

"So what'd they do this time?" Lydia finally asked as she and Brooke settled in the living room with a bowl of popcorn between them and _Legally Blonde_ playing on the television in front of them. Brooke had made it obvious that she didn't want to talk about her parents when Lydia had arrived carrying a stack of movies and plenty of junk food, but Lydia had only made it to Elle's revelation that she too would go to Harvard before she cracked.

"They were supposed to come home for the week," Brooke shrugged. "But they have some party or the other and they just aren't going to bother."

"Oh Brooke," Lydia sighed before she popped a piece of popcorn in her mouth and chewed on it thoughtfully. "I'm sorry they're not around more. They're missing out on how great their daughter is. I guess…" Lydia paused almost as if she was trying to decide if she should continue on with her train of thought or not.

"What?" Brooke questioned, curious as to what exactly her friend thought of the situation. Lydia had a close knit family and Brooke's family situation probably seemed so odd to her.

"I dunno," Lydia responded with a frown. "I guess sometimes I forget that even though it's cool that you have so much space to yourself, that you don't really have anyone around. If that makes any sense."

Brooke watched Lydia carefully, not totally sure she understood what Lydia was getting at. "I'm not sure I understand what you mean..."

Lydia shrugged, "I guess sometimes I get jealous that you have this whole house to yourself and you don't have to share a room or a bathroom, that I forget that you're here all alone most of the time."

Brooke couldn't help the brief ironic laugh that bubbled up. "That's funny I guess, because I get jealous that you have this amazing family and I have my parents, whom to actually call them parents, you'd like have to bend the truth and the reality of the situation."

"Oh Duckling," Lydia sighed as she wrapped an arm around Brooke's shoulder.

"My mom didn't exactly approve of Jason when I told her about him this morning," Brooke sighed, that fact alone was still eating at her.

"What? Why, because he's a junior?" Lydia asked quickly.

"No," Brooke assured with a shake of her head. "She didn't even care enough about my life to know the rest of the details. The thing that mattered to her was the fact that your family doesn't belong to a country club."

"That's ridiculous," Lydia exclaimed with a scowl. "It's not like we're the scum of the earth because we don't belong to a country club. My dad's a doctor!"

Brooke's frown deepened. "You don't have to tell me that. I didn't say that I agreed with them."

"I'm sorry. How'd you end up growing up in this world and not become like that?" Lydia questioned. "I mean you've been given everything, but you're not some spoiled princess who thinks she owns the world."

"I don't know." Brooke shrugged, "Well yes I do. I have this cousin, my mom's sister's daughter, and she's a couple years older then us. She graduated a couple years ago. Anyway, she was exactly like you said, she had it all money, looks, she was cheer captain and she terrorized everyone.."

"So what happened to your cousin?" Lydia questioned, "She's someone's trophy wife now?"

Brooke shook her head sadly. "She died the first semester of her freshman year in college. If you ask my family what happened, they'd tell you she lost control of her car on an icy road and slid off a bridge."

Lydia's dark eyes were wide at this revelation. "And if you asked anyone else?"

Brooke shrugged. "She was having a hard time adjusting to college life and the roads weren't that slippery. No one knows for sure. After that, I just realized that I didn't want to be that girl, the one who was queen of her high school but then didn't have anything to walk away with when high school ended."

"Oh Brooke," Lydia wrapped her arms around Brooke to give her a tight hug. "You're definitely not your cousin"

"You'll make sure that I don't ever become her?"

Lydia laughed, "I don't think there's a chance of that ever happening."

"But do you promise?" Brooke stared intently at Lydia. "Promise that you won't ever let me just be Jason's girlfriend, or Lydia and Peyton's best friend, or Raven's cheerleader."

"Fine I promise," Lydia smiled. "I won't let you be anyone but who you are."


	15. Chapter 15: Senior Year

**Chapter 15**

_**A.N. This chapter goes out to Maggie, Ella and Sam because they got the worst of my ranting and raving about writers block the last couple of weeks. And also for just being great, caring people in general. So, obviously my excuse is that I had writers block and it pretty much sucked, not to mention I've been helping out OTH writers 911, speaking of which stay tuned for a special authors note at the end of the chapter...

* * *

**_

End of April 2006

"My Lydie!" Althea's shocked expression gave way quickly to one of joy and when she pushed away from the table she sent her chair back to the floor with a clatter. And while it made everyone else around the table jump, it had little effect on her as she rushed forward to wrap her arms around her daughter.

"Hi Mama," Lydia hugged her mother close, as her dark eyes surveyed the stunned expressions of the older people around the table mixed with the curious ones of the smaller ones.

"We had no idea you were coming today, or at all," Althea stated, "but come, we can make room at the table for you." If Althea was flustered by the fact that Brooke and Lydia would be sitting at the same table she didn't show it as she hastily managed to find room at the table for her middle daughter.

It didn't escape the notice of Lucas that it took the Theophilus clan longer to jump up and greet Lydia then it had for them to swoop in on when they'd arrived. But eventually they did, while Brooke and Lucas remained in their seats, taking in the hugs and the voices all trying to speak at once. It was obvious to Lucas that he was once again out of the loop when it came to Brooke's history with the Theophilus', all he knew about Lydia was that she and Brooke had been friends even before Brooke dated Jason. But the look Brooke wore at that time mirrored the one that had crossed her face when Jason had walked into the café, haunted, and all Lucas could do was give her hand a reassuring squeeze under the table.

Brooke had hardly felt the actual gesture but she could feel Lucas sitting next to her and offering her a comfort in his presence. Her eyes followed all of Lydia's movements from the animated words she exchanged with her family and the way she fawned all over her nieces and nephews. She'd grown up; it was obvious in every little part of her. She was as beautiful as she ever had been, her skin was still perfectly tanned and flawless, her frame was lean and she was as casually stylish as ever. But the smile she was as quick to offer wasn't the same one that had been readily on her lips years ago, it didn't light up all of her features as it once had.

"Lydia," Thaddeaus stated once the table had calmed down some, "this is Lucas Scott, Brooke's boyfriend."

Brooke followed Lydia's every action at this announcement, and she didn't miss the brief flick of dark eyes toward Jason before Lydia stood up and leaned across the table to shake Lucas' hand, "it's nice to meet you."

Lucas accepted Lydia's hand and shook it warmly, "it's good to finally meet you, I've heard a lot about you." He was trying too hard, that much was evident from his tone and his action, he was trying to make this easier on Brooke but she was pretty sure that there was no way to make this situation any easier.

Lydia looked taken aback by this statement alone and her eyes landed on Brooke's questioning her, but Brooke froze what was there to say? "It's good to meet you too," Lydia finally responded before returning to a seated position and casting her eyes downward on her plate of food.

"Lydia's been in Greece for the last couple of years," Althea informed Lucas, "she has been helping my family out, they have a restaurant and my father had a stroke so she offered to help."

"That's really cool," Lucas nodded, "I'm sure it was an amazing experience."

"It was," Lydia, agreed, "the village is right on the water and couldn't have been more beautiful."

Brooke felt almost like she was in some freakish dream, it was all just too strange to her. Lydia and Lucas were sitting there carrying on a conversation about Greece as if this situation wasn't laced with more stress and confusion then Brooke could imagine. These were two worlds merging and it was all to much for Brooke to comprehend, she never thought she'd see Lydia again much less see Lydia talking to Luke. Luke and her relationship with Luke was so the opposite of anything she'd had with Jason, or any of the other Theophilus'.

Brooke stood suddenly, "I have to use the bathroom," she excused herself before fleeing in the direction of the upstairs bathroom. She hadn't given anyone much time to react and she could hear the conversation at the table slow for a minute and then increase in sound, as if everyone was trying to make up for Brooke's silent presence by talking louder. Once she was in the safety of the bathroom she rests her arms on the counter top her eyes locked onto her reflection. She felt emotionally drained, between freaking out about coming and then getting so caught up in the feel of the past only to have it slap her back in the face

The soft cries from a nearby room started about the time Brooke was attempting to take deep breaths and to focus on not having a nervous breakdown in the Theophilus' bathroom. Curiosity seemed to almost cure Brooke's breakdown, quietly she opened the bathroom door again and let her feet guide her to Jason's bedroom door. She knew that it had to be Chloe; she was the only one that hadn't joined the family at dinner after having fallen asleep in the arms of her grandfather.

After pushing Jason's door open Brooke was shocked to find that his room still smelled exactly the same and, with the exception of the baby crib that now occupies one corner, it hasn't changed at all. But she didn't take all of this in for very long because she, for the first time, was really and truly faced with Chloe. She had pulled herself up to a standing position with her hands firmly grasped on crib bars and her cheeks are tear streaked, but she's stopped screaming the instant she noticed Brooke in the door way.

"Hey sweetie," Brooke wouldn't ever be able to explain the pull that this little girl had over her, or what had caused her to walk into the room and stoop down to pick up the pacifier that stood a foot away from the crib. "Did you drop this?" Chloe's dark eyed gaze followed Brooke's slow movements but she didn't protest when Brooke gently picked her up and out of the crib. In fact when Brooke picked her up she just continued to stare up at her. She was a Theophilus there was no doubt about that from her head full of dark hair to her big brown eyes.

There used to be a time in Brooke's life where she believed in maternal instinct. That there was some switch that went off inside of you that just gave you the knowledge of how to best care for your child. But she'd stopped believing that after the accident, telling herself that if there was such a thing it would have prevented her from getting into the car the day of the accident. But despite the many times she had told herself that she couldn't deny that something changed the instant she cradled Chloe in her arms.

"Aren't you a pretty baby?" Brooked cooed as she gently ran her finger along the soft skin of Chloe's arm, before she gently settled herself onto Jason's desk chair. Staring down at her, Brooke couldn't help but wonder if this is what her child would have looked like. Would they have been an exact replica of the Theophilus girls or boys? Or would they have had Jason's olive skin tone but Brooke's bright green eyes?

It wasn't the first time Brooke had asked these questions, but it was the first time she'd had to deal with them in such a real light. If Brooke had to give an honest answer before she would have told anyone that she hated the little girl in her arms based purely on what she stood for. Or at least what Chloe stood for in the confusion that was Brooke's mind. A replacement for the baby she'd so desperately wanted, even at fifteen. But now, actually faced with her, Brooke couldn't even locate that emotion, how did she hate someone so innocent?

"I thought I heard her crying."

"I'm sorry Jason," Brooke blushed, embarrassed that he'd caught her even in the vicinity of Chloe, "I was in the bathroom and I heard her."

"You don't have to explain Duckling, I wasn't going to yell at you for holding her."

"Here," Brooke stood and held her arms out for Jason to take his daughter back.

"She seems to like you, she's comfortable with you, keep her."

Brooke couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips, Chloe's eyes had dropped back down into a comfortable sleep, "She's all you Jason." Brooke commented as she gently set Chloe back down on her pink and spring green gingham bed sheet.

"She's got Jamie's lips."

Brooke glanced at Chloe again, her fingers gently brushed over the infants pout, but her eyes searched Jason's face. She could still remember every single detail that's written there, there's more sadness but long ago she'd memorized every inch of his face and she's forgotten none of it.

"I'm afraid that when I tell you you'll leave me."

"I love you Brooke Davis and I'm not going anywhere. I'm not your parents, I won't run away when things get too complicated."

"I'm pregnant."

"I thought about you a lot while I was gone and I thought _that _would drive me crazy," Jason's words pulled Brooke out of her memory. "And then I had Chloe to take care of and I couldn't help thinking what if."

"Jason, I wish I could say that when I drive past the park I don't wonder what our baby would have been like. Or every time I see Natasha around school I don't get curious about how you are. But that doesn't get either of us anywhere, we're over Jason, we didn't work, remember?"

"Because I ran away?"

"Yes, because you ran away."

"You ran away too."

"Me? I haven't gone anywhere Jason, I've been here for the last three years."

"You can be running away and standing completely still at the same time."

"Knock, knock," Lydia entered the room, "but I just thought you'd like to know that that is on in the dining room." She gestured to the monitor they were standing only inches from and had definitely picked up on their hushed tones. She glanced back and forth between Jason and Brooke, her eyebrows raised in an almost a malicious way.

Brooke slowly reached over to flick the monitor off, she chewed on her bottom lip in every attempt to fight back tears, "We're all here to see Althea. Can we just keep it that simple? We all love her and want to spend time with her, let's leave it at that." She didn't give either of them a chance to respond before she brushed past Lydia in the doorway and hurried downstairs.

"We should go," she announced once she'd arrived back in the dining room sans Lydia or Jason following. There was no use in pretending that the entire family, and her boyfriend hadn't heard the conversation, it was obvious by the uncomfortable expression written across their faces. So why should she put on a show for the rest of dinner?

"Yeah okay," Lucas didn't need any more encouragement then that, he stood and politely said his good-byes to the near strangers he'd been having dinner with.

Brooke said good-bye briefly to everyone but it was Althea who she crossed over to and hugged warmly, "I do want to see you more. I just..."

"I understand Duckling," Althea patted Brooke's arm, "we'll get together soon and spend some time together."

* * *

"Brooke," Lucas and Brooke hadn't talked the entire ride back to Brooke's apartment but Lucas made it apparent that they weren't going to end that night that was as soon as she pulled her car into it's parking space.

"I don't want to talk about it Lucas."

"You can't just make that decision Brooke."

"Of course I can," Brooke slid out of her seat and slammed the door behind her, "this is my life Lucas. And you've been great lately but I can't talk to you about this, not right now."

"About Jason."

"Yes about Jason."

"You're not over him." Luke said it simply, as if he had just stated how the weather was and not his girlfriend's romantic feelings toward an ex.

"I'm not talking about this now Lucas," Brooke walked toward her front door, letting her body language make it clear to that she didn't want to even see him. "I'm going to bed, because tomorrow I am getting up and I'm working on my prom dress and I'm not thinking about any of this shit anymore." She allowed her apartment door being slammed in Lucas's face finish out the conversation.

* * *

Hello 911 members,

Once upon a time we were a board of 20 this weekend we hit 5,000, and I was absolutely thrill. Before I start giving you guys the latest information on how you can save our favorite show, I want to thank all my admins and mods, who are the reason the board is as successful as it is. Especially to Rian, Cath, Ange, Lori, Manda, Ali, Lo, Jessie, Britt, Sara who where there from the moment the idea of a fan fic help board popped into my head. And to all my new mods and admins, Maggie, Mary, Steph, Emily, Court, Sarah, Amanda, Cari, Michelle, Miranda, Tejal, Sam, Mariah, Mariah, Sarah, and who ever else I have missed I'm sorry guys but its early and you guys know how I am in the morning. This board would not be a third of what it is if it wasn't for all these people. We work hard and we get everything as fast as we can for our members. Especially the admins, you guys have no idea what we do behind the scenes. Maggie has been a god send, I would have lost it if she wasn't there to help me so big thanks to her.

With that said lets get to the good stuff. On May 18th the CW will be announcing the line up for next fall. Now I have heard that our favorite show is a toss up, there are no guarantees that we are going to make it into next fall line up. I know that there are so call schedules out and that there are rumors that we are all set, but guys as much as I wish it was true its not. A decision has not been made and we need to do what we can to get the show back next year because you guys know Mark is ending this season with a cliff hanger. Two weeks guys, we have to weeks to make sure our show is back. Veronica Mars was picked up for a second season because the fans send letters, emails, and did what ever they had to do to let Dawn Ostroff know they want VM back and she brought it back. So let's do it, lets let Dawn know we want it back. So this is what you can do.

1.) WRITE LETTERS. It doesn't have to be long just say I want OTH back, tell her why you love the show. I did it I printed out three letters, mailed them and felt like I made a contribution. Here is the address send all letters ASAP to:

**Ms. Dawn Ostroff**

**President of Entertainment, The CW**

**11800 Wilshire Blvd.**

**Los Angeles, CA 90025**

**2.) go to this thread and leave a message for Dawn Ostroff. This thread was started so all members can leave her a message on why we love the show, why we want it back season four, and what couples we love. I am sending her a huge package filled with all the episodes that the members have reviewed and the responses to this thread so please do this it may help bring it back next season.**

**3.) Kristen on E online who loves has named it the show that is "likely doom". She picks one show every year and we need it to be one tree hill. She gives a huge shout out on her tv show and in the past when she has done this the shows have been picked up for another season. Past shows have been Veronica Mars, Roswell, Angel, ECT and she has helped saved them. All you have is send her emails telling her what show you want to make it into the fall line up that is doomed on her list. Email her at use as many emails addresses that you have and make sure you do this right now. Please! Time is running out.**

**4.) The Rally! If you live in California then please go to the save OTH Rally May 1st in front of Dawn's office. Here is the info:**

**FROM **

**RALLY FOR ONE TREE HILL! -- Please note new date, May 1 **

**"There's Only One Tree Hill, We Want Season 4!" OTH fans in the LA area are organizing a rally to convince the CW we love OTH. On Monday, May 1, at 4 pm, gather outside the office of the new CW president Dawn Ostroff, and let her know how much you love One Tree Hill and want it to be on the CW for a season 4. **

**Her office is located at 11800 Wilshire Blvd., in between Granville and Stoner Ave., on the Southwest Corner of Wilshire/Granville, in Los Angeles! Let's line the streets for OTH! Organize groups of your friends to attend! **

**Bring signs, t-shirts, noisemakers, and your love and support for OTH, and let's make sure we get a season 4! See you there! **

**The group needs at least two team leaders/contact persons who will be attending the rally, to help with organizing and promoting the rally. We are also looking for persons willing to carry signs showing how much OTH Fans with Benefit has raised for the NBCF. Please email if you are interested! Flyers for stealing and printing will be available soon, so keep checking back. We need a lot of people at this event to make noise for OTH!**

So guys the next two weeks are so important please help out. It takes a minute, a second, the same amount of time it takes to read spoilers you can use that time to write one letter and put a stamp on it, to leave a message on the thread, to go to the rally, to email Kristen. If you love the show then you will help out.

Now onto board news. I have mod openings, so if you want to be a mod for the 911 please email me at You must be over 16 years of age, and have msn. All ships are welcome.

Please vote in the board awards, Please. And the writing challenge the spring challenge is due on May 10th. Now our authors from our board have written a challenge type reunion story which is amazing. 25 authors writing one story please check it out and leave a review support the authors of the 911. **http/ I want everyone to understand that we are stepping up banning and warning on the board in regards of spoilers. We are getting spoilers everyday and some of them are pretty good, and some are shocking. But there is no need to bash. If you bash you are going to get warn. If you have been warned more than three times you will be banned from the board so please be nice.**

**So guys please get those letters out! Please send those emails out, review the stories on the board, check out our spoilers. Enjoy! Thank you Kaos head admin of the 911.**


	16. Chapter 16: Freshman Year

* * *

_Freshman Year – Late March 2003_

"What's going on in that head of yours?" Jason gently stroked Brooke's hair as he questioned her.

They'd spent the better part of the rainy Saturday in March curled up in Brooke's bed. Brooke had always wanted her first time to be simple and sweet with someone she loved. Of course when she and Peyton talked about it ever unromantic and sarcastic Peyton had made sure Brooke knew that it would more then likely be painful and awkward and that she was getting her hopes up. It had been all of the above, a week before hand on their two month anniversary. It had just felt right and Brooke had refused to second guess or talk herself out of it.

"I'm thinking that I wish we never had to move out of this bed," Brooke snuggled closer to Jason and he wrapped his arms more tightly around her. Both lapsed back into silence listening to the rain hitting the roof overhead. It had been raining for two days, the kind of rain that turned the warming weather cold again and chased everyone back indoors but Brooke certainly wasn't complaining.

Although at that moment her stomach was complaining that she hadn't fed it since that piece of toast right before Jason had come over. "Now, I'm thinking that rainy Saturday occasion calls for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."

Jason laughed, in bits and pieces he was starting to expect certain things from Brooke, "Is there any occasion that doesn't call for peanut butter and jelly?"

"Hey it's one of the only things I know how to make. Hmm," she tapped her finger against her lip in thought, "actually though there is an occasion that doesn't call for PB&Js and that would be funerals."

"Oh yeah, and what type of food is appropriate then?"

"Comfort food, like macaroni and cheese. But not the stuff out of the box, the homemade stuff that is cheesy and all clumped together and just makes you feel better with every bite. But now," Brooke kissed Jason quickly before moving off of him, "now it is time for peanut butter and jelly and hot chocolate." She quickly pulled Jason's sweatshirt over her head before leaving the room, Jason followed immediately behind.

"There are leftovers from Italian the other night if you'd rather have that," Brooke commented as she poked through her fridge looking for her jelly. Really the fridge was stocked full of food between the stuff Gabriella left weekly and the food Althea was constantly sending home with her, Brooke certainly wouldn't be starving any time soon.

"And miss out on your famous sandwiches?" Jason reached around Brooke and lifted the white Styrofoam contain off the top shelf, "I might have to take you up on that. A person, over the age of seven, can only eat so much peanut butter and jelly."

"Well, good for you. I just think you're crazy is all." Brooke laughed as they moved about the kitchen getting what they both needed to prepare their individual lunches. Once Brooke had made her sandwich she hopped on the counter watching Jason move around the kitchen. "See, amazing," Brooke waved the sandwich in the air in front of Jason.

Jason pressed the reheat button on the oven and then moved to her; with a smirk he lifted the sandwich out of Brooke's hands and took a bite. "Hey!" Brooke protested grabbing the sandwich back out of Jason's hands, "I may love you but not enough to let you steal my PB&J." The stern expression on her face gave way to a smile and she leaned down and wrapped her arms around Jason's neck.

"Oh yeah?" Jason trailed kisses along Brooke's jaw line as his fingers slipped over the soft skin of Brooke's up thigh and under the hem of is THH swim hoodie.

"I suppose I could be persuaded otherwise," Brooke murmured closing her eyes as Jason's fingers played their way slowly upward and over Brooke's skin.

"What the hell is going on here?" The male voice caused both Brooke and Jason to drop and contact. Jason flew about a foot away from Brooke and she dropped off of the counter with a light thud.

"Daddy," Brooke tugged at the bottom of the blue sweatshirt, only then realizing how little she was actually wearing. "What – "

"Juliet!" Wilson Davis bellowed for his wife, cutting his daughter off completely. When his wife didn't appear immediately he called for her again, only louder.

"Wilson what the hell is the matter with you?" Juliet Davis' voice could be heard coming down the hall accompanied by the click of her heels. "Whose car is in front of the…Jesus Christ!" The scene Juliet walked in on left very little to the imagination. "Brooke Penelope what in God's name is going on here?"

Brooke couldn't bring herself to look up from the tiled kitchen floor. She could feel all of the eyes on her, even Jason's but she can't even bring herself to meet his gaze. "Mr. Davis, Mrs. Davis, I'm Jason The-…" It couldn't have been easy for Jason to be the one to break the silence in the room, but it does finally get Brooke to look up for the first time. Her father looked ready to explode, his face had turned a deep shade of red and Brooke took a protective step closer to Jason. Her mother's piercing green eyes, the mirror of Brooke's, are locked onto Brooke and she's giving her a look that literally makes Brooke feel ill.

With a deep breath Brooke half turned to Jason, "you should go."

Jason's gaze moved between Brooke and her parents, "but…"

"Young man," Juliet's gaze was icy, "I believe that's a wise idea." Brooke had never hear such a tone come out of her mother before. As far as Brooke knew her mother had exactly two tones when in the presence of company; one was over the top and filled with fake enthusiasm and the other was simple disinterest.

Brooke didn't dare touch or speak to Jason when he walked out of the kitchen. No one in the room breathed or moved until they could hear his car door slam. Her parents care far to much about their public appearance to lose their cool in front of anyone, the risk of gossip was far too great. The instant they were sure that Jason couldn't hear a word they exploded.

Brooke would never be able to recall all of the words that came flying out of their mouths; or how long exactly it last. But the keywords of _'slut'_, _'white trash', 'hussy'_ were thrown around far more then any others and Brooke wouldn't forget them. She managed to hold her head high through it all and didn't cry until her mother dismissed her with a wave of her hand.

Even when she was curled in her bed, buried under her sheets, that still smelled lightly of Jason, she managed not to cry. Her mind wandered as her parents fought on the floor below. She'd never let her parents down before. Up until that very day she'd been the perfect Tree Hill high society daughter. She was pretty and fashionable. She never stepped out of line. Everyone knew that if you wanted to keep peace in an upper class Tree Hill family there were two definite rules to live by. You only stepped outside of the lines your parents couldn't see; Tree Hill parents didn't care if you fucked up your life so long as it wasn't out in the open for everyone to see. And the second rule a T.H. kid followed was that you never, ever, pointed out to your parents that they were never around. That was certainly the more important of the two.

Brooke didn't know what came next. She hadn't broken any of the rules before and she had no idea how her parents were going to react.

* * *

"_What's happening?"  
"Shh, don't worry about it. I love you."  
"I love you."  
"Close your eyes."_

Well, as bad as things were at least Brooke could rest assured that she wouldn't have to stab Jason in the stomach and send him straight to hell. She had resolved herself to hiding in her room for the day; she didn't know where her parents were so she wasn't risking leaving the safety of her room. And thanks to FX she'd been wrapped up in the tragedy of Buffy the Vampire Slayer courtesy of one of those day long marathons. The tragedy of the story managed to keep her mind off of how truly mortifying the afternoon exchange had been. Your absentee parents walking in on you and your boyfriend, partially clothed and all over each other? Yeah, Brooke was pretty sure that it didn't get any worse then that.

Brooke?" Brooke's heart pounded when her mother knocked on the door right around dinner time and she quickly snapped the TV off before calling for her mother to enter.

Juliet pushed open the door but remained in the doorway. She shared Brooke's eye color but that was where the similarities ended. She was pale and blonde and the perfect southern society girl. She'd been born to Atlanta socialites; she'd been bred to be the perfect trophy wife to a successful business man. She could organize a function of a hundred people without batting an eyelash, but she had few practical talents. Dealing with disobedient troublesome children? Far too practical for Juliet Davis. That's what nannies and au pairs were hired for, and now that her daughter was too old for one she was clueless.

"Brooke, your father and I are incredibly disappointed in you. We counted on you to act responsibly when we are unavailable. We counted on you to act like we raised you, not inviting strange boys over to do God knows what."

"He's my boyfriend Mom, not some strange boy." Brooke protested quietly not meeting her mother's gaze. Honestly, through all of her faults Brooke couldn't blame her parents for being angry, they had their but that didn't make this any easy or the situation less awkward.

"I thought I made it quite clear that you weren't to see that boy anymore. When we spoke about him…"

"You didn't…"

"It's obvious that I didn't make myself clear," Juliet interrupted. "So I will state this as clearly as I can, your father and I are forbidding you from seeing that boy anymore."

"You can't do that!" Brooke exclaimed.

"Of course I can, I am your mother Brooke Penelope. You will do as I say."

Brooke's mother had forbidden her to do two things in her entire life, on top of the typical Tree Hill expectations. The first was that there was absolutely no playing when Brooke was forced to attend adult parties. She was to sit and look like a pretty doll and absolutely not run off to play with Nathan Scott and Tim Smith. Second, there was absolutely no eating or drinking in the formal living room, and it didn't matter if you were the best nanny their daughter had ever had, you would be fired.

"Furthermore, we are having the Warrenbrocks to dinner tomorrow; you are to be in attendance." At this point Juliet had entered Brooke's closet and was sifting through the contents. Moments later she emerged with a pale blue dress, "this will do. With the pearls Daddy got from Paris and that darling headband you wore to the Scott's barbeque over the summer." Brooke opened her mouth to attempt to form a protest but once again Juliet had cut her off, "we'll see about returning your cell phone after dinner tomorrow. That Andy Warrenbrock is such a nice boy."

"Ab-"

"Goodnight Brooke."

Brooke let out a screech as the door shut behind her mother and she hated herself for not being able to stand up to her parents. She'd never seen the point before. Her parents had been far to absent from her life to warrant the need to stand up to them. But this was just too far. To forbid her to see Jason? They hadn't even let her speak up for herself to explain. Not that there was anything she could have said to explain what they had walked in on. But what were they going to do? Enforce their new punishment for a day or two until something else came up somewhere that wasn't Tree Hill?

Brooke took a deep breath as an attempt to calm herself. She would only have to get through a day or two and then they would be gone again. Long enough for them to forget they had a daughter, much less that they had punished her.

* * *

"Clair, it's been far too long. How have you been?"

Brooke watched her parents greet the Warrenbrocks. They, along with Dan and Deb Scott, were her parents closest friends. Their son Andy was an ass and Brooke wished that her parents had invited the Scotts over. The evening would have been far more pleasant and she could have stolen Nathan's cell phone after dinner to call Jason.

She'd spent ages getting ready that afternoon only because she had nothing else to do hiding from her parents in her bedroom. So there she stood looking like her mother's perfect little China doll.

"Brooke, darling, how are you?" Clair Warrenbrocks attention was now focused on Brooke, joy.

Brooke smiled and made small talk when she was addressed at dinner. She didn't dare of the nerve to push her parents any further, and besides she had this routine down pat. It was a role she'd been in her whole life and if her parents were going to hold her phone hostage until she played her role perfectly, well then she'd give them the show of their lives.

"You know, we just got a new surround system in the entertainment room," Wilson stated after dessert was nearly finished. "Why don't you kids run in along and find something to watch while we talk?"

Reluctantly Brooke led Andy toward the entertainment room. "Do you want to watch a movie?" A movie was a safe bet, considering their parents would probably talk for hours. If they watched a movie it cut out any conversation about what to watch on TV and as far as Brooke was concerned the least amount of conversing with Andy the better.

Brooke sighed audibly; she was tired of pretending she hadn't noticed that Andy was progressively moving closer and closer to her on the couch. When he'd placed is hand just above her knee she was done.

"Hands off Andy, I have a boyfriend. Remember? He's in your grade? Captain of the swim team?" She shoved Andy's hand away from her. Hopefully hard enough for Andy to back off and retreat to the other side of the couch.

"That's not what I heard," Andy draped an arm around Brooke's shoulder. "I heard that your parents walked in on you and that boyfriend of yours going at it in the kitchen. Who'd have thought you had it in you Brooke, if I'd known you liked it like that I would have followed my parents encouragement sooner." With his free hand Andy touched her knee again and Brooke flinched, "anyway. I hear you've been forbidden to see Jason. When I heard that I figured, why not head over see if Brooke's lonely…"

Brooke jumped to her feet at this, she'd had to deal with Andy for most of her life and honestly he'd been a pervy sleaze since even before puberty but she was tired of taking it. Pulling back her arm she slapped Andy hard across the face, "you're an ass." She left him shocked at her outburst and stalked into the living room where the adults were drinking and chatting.

"I'm done playing your perfect princess tonight, and your son is an ass." Before anyone could react she left the room and grabbed the cordless phone on her way out. She dialed the number quickly knowing that she only had a limited amount of time before her parents and the Warrenbrocks said their embarrassed goodbyes. "Hello?" They sounded so similar on the phone that Broke had always had a hard time differentiating between Alec and Jason.

"Alec?"

"Brooke? I'm going to go get Jason, hang on…"

"No, Alec, wait. My parents may kill him if he shows up here, right now. Can you come get me?" Brooke quickly threw a change of clothes into her cheer bag as she checked to make sure that Alec knew how to get to her house.

"I'm walking out the door now." When Alec hung up Brooke glanced at the clock, it took five minutes if you hit very stop light to cross the distance between the Theophilus house and the Davis'.

"Brooke Penelope Davis!" The Warrenbrocks had to have gone because her mother's furious voice had carried easily up the huge flight of stairs.

There was no avoiding this conversation and her parents were standing between her and her exit plan. Besides, there were things that Brooke had resisted telling her parents for most of her life. She'd waited long enough and they'd backed her too far into a corner. She'd already broken the unspoken rule not to embarrass her parents in front of anyone, she might as well declare it a no holds barred conversation and tell them that they sucked as parents as well.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Wilson eyed her bag the instant she stepped foot on the stairs.

"To Jason's until you guys run off to Europe or New York or whatever is next on the Davis' grand tour of the world outside of Tree Hill."

The statement goes ignored as her mother launched into a speech she must have had practically preplanned. "All this time we thought you were responsible enough to stay alone. You've nothing but prove us wrong since we walked in the door. Clearly we need to put you under parental supervision at all times."

Brooke couldn't help the laughter that bubbled out of her almost the instant the words left her mother's mouth. "So are you going to pay highly trained actors come in and fill this role? If so I'd recommend the parents from Seventh Heaven, they seem to be fantastic. Actually, hmm…" Brooke tapped her lips in thought. She couldn't believe the words that were spilling out of her mouth. Sarcasm was not a Brooke Davis thing, it was a Lydia or Peyton thing. But once the words had started there was no stopping them

"No, on second thought you wouldn't want those parents. I'm pretty sure they don't expect their girls to be China dolls, and you know their actually present in their children's lives. Hmm, that's really a touch. Maybe on your next transcontinental flight you can think of TV parents who represent the values you'd like instilled in me, your only daughter."

Her parents remained unmoving. Too shocked for it to even register across their faces. When they'd gotten off of the plane from St. Croix or New York or wherever they had been they'd had the perfect daughter. Sweet and quiet spoken with impeccable manners under all conditions. The girl in front of them might as well have been an alien because it certainly wasn't the daughter they'd paid good money to have raised.

At the full realization of what she'd actually just said tears sprang to Brooke's eyes. She'd spent her whole life trying to be the perfect daughter so that maybe her parents would spend more time with her, want to take them on all their trips. Any chance of that was now gone.

"Peyton will know how to reach me." She walked out of the house half-wishing, half-expecting her parents to call out to or attempt to stop her. They don't.

She sat on the front step hugging her cheer bag tightly to her. Willing herself not to cry, but the last two days have been far too emotional and she no longer has the energy to fight them. She didn't know how long her cruel words to her parents had lasted. Or how long she sat in the humid night air. It felt like hours but Alex had been leaving the house when he hung up with her. And the drive was only five minutes.

When the headlights swept into her driveway Brooke jumped to her feet and was half-way to the car before Althea was able to jump out of the passenger seat and pull Brooke to her. Brooke clung to Althea and sobbed into her shoulder. Within moments Althea had Brooke settled in the backseat, her arm wrapped around Brooke.

The two, along with Alec, were too focused on getting Brooke house to notice the figure that had positioned themselves at the window to watch the exchange. She would be expectedly out of the country when Brooke finally returned to her home Monday after school. For that unseen moment, though, she was a concerned mother watching her only child be taken care of by another women, because she had blown all of the second chances her daughter up willingly offered up to her.


End file.
